Hello everyone. Long time no see! :cheekkiss I'm quite upset and sad. The last year, I've been thinking of babies. :smurf: I found out that I wanted one or two children when I'm older. And that's why I'm so sad. Because I'll probably never be able to have kids. I'm labelled as "very severly" mentally disabled. :hiding: Aargh! I turned 15 in March and I can't do much. :shy: It's so frustrating, because I don't want my children to be ashamed of their mother. :sad: My English is worse too. :sadyes: I just stopped caring about the English language after I was hospitalized. I never wrote anything in English. Nowadays I happen to write: "The dog look at me" and things like that. I hate myself. My medicines have taken all my suicide courage away. That doesn't mean I don't want to die. I still want to die, but I'm more scared now. Sometimes I wish to stop taking my medicines, or overdose them, just to die. Oh, do I actually have to live this life? In 2 months and 3 days I'm forced to live somewhere else. Away from my family! I bet I will not cope well, I will probably freak out every single day. Maybe my life doesn't seem very horrible and so on, but I find it horrible because I need: * A personal assistant. * An attendant. * Therapies. * Mobility service. * Conformal school attendance. * Medicines. * Doctors. And I don't want this! It's terrible and makes me feel bad and embarrassed about myself. I'm like this turtle: :turtle: Helpless. But I'm not smiling, like the turtle. And I'm not green. But my eyes are green though. And green is my favourite colour.