I am a living trash, I wanna die!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rippingheartout, Jun 5, 2010.

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  1. Sorry, English isn't my first language.

    Well, I'm a boy, 17 years old, for so long I've been looking help from Y!Answers, but people are so lame in there, most people pick on my English and make me feel worse.
    This feeling didn't come overnight, I've been depressed for years, so I am gonna list the reasons why. I am pretty weak person too (mentally).

    The first thing why I feel myself worthless and why I wanna die is school...
    Sometimes I've been studying for days and nights, specially math, but I still don't get it, I can't remember it and it's too hard for me, of course if you're a math genius, it's hard to understand.
    Other people have made a lot fun of me and teased me a lot.
    Teachers have told me things like you'll never bang a girl or look at (and they say my name) he would never get drive licenses , a girl who'll get a boyfriend like (again they tell my name) is the most unhappiest girl ever! I also hear everyday that I got no future from them.
    I dream about becoming a musician , no matter is it rock or rap , but I get picked on , because of my voice.

    I have no friends either and I have had girlfriends .. Like one was an internet relationship in 2010 , she had sex with an other guy...
    The other one was in year 2008, she came to me and told me look, you're too caring and romantic, I love more bad boys, I mean I learned to enjoy life. Well, I feel like I wanna kill them both and there's nothing I could do..
    (Offtopic: Do you believe in the law of attraction ? )
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend


    For a start your teachers are bullies and should not be saying things like that, secondly have you told any family or doctors about how you feel? I mean I think that is a start, so you can get some support.

    Oh and if you want to become a musician don't let anyone stop your dreams. Prove them wrong.

    And personally I think a lot of women would agree here that being caring and romantic is a good thing, so don't feel you have to change yourself for anyone. They are not worth being upset over, if they cannot except you for who you are.
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I agree with Rich...those teachers are bullies and they need reporting for how they're treating you......also the other kids who are making fun of you are bullies...have you told your parents you have to put up with this ****?
    as a parent I would be at the school in a second to defend my kids....(and I have)
    as far as girls go there are some of us that think quiet and romantic are awesome....one day the right caring girl will come into your life...you are still very young so try not to stress too much about it yet...
    and if you want to be a musician go for it..don't let anything stop you...when you're famous they can all eat crow...
    are you seeing a doctor, therapist, any meds......I think you need to talk to a proffessional if you have been depressed for a while..
    I hope you'll continue to post here for support..we care
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Rich and IV... Being romantic will attract more girls than being a bad boy..Keep up with your music..I wish I could play guitar but could never get the hang of it..You should report the two teachers who are saying those things to you..You have a long life ahead of you..Don't let the bullies of this world affect you..Just be yourself..
  5. Thanks, but the main thing why I am worried are my grades, my future..
    I've never done good in school, is that gonna affect my life?
    I am really bad at math,chemistyr,physics
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Can you afford a tutor?...
  7. No.
    My math teacher hates me, really she does..
    I've taken after classes 4 years and she didn't teach anything to me! She always sits on a computer and plays this card game... Solatire or something.
    Then she gives me an exercise and tells: "solve it".
    I've seen how she's teaching other students...

    I didn't understand chemistry, but in this year we got a new teacher and I understood how to solve this things, but now when I start to think, I don't remember how to solve :D
    She also said that people doesn't have to understand everything..

    Physics.. Well, I understand it actually, but I don't like it...

    I don't understand math, I can't remember it, I hate it deeply. I can't pass an exam.
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