i am a massive dumbass when i drink

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by closertolove, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    just woke up from a night of really sliggety decisions... hooked up with one of my really good friends, and now i just kinda need to vent about it. it was further than i'd ever gone before, but he didn't know that. gah i'm just now so... confused isn't the right word, but conflicted
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Alcohol dam stuff i do hope you hun learn now how dangerous it can be I am sorry if things got out of hand and i do hope you can vent and get your thoughts out here
     
  3. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    i think what has me the most worked up about it is that i wasn't expecting it to really go as far as it did. i mean, i knew what i was getting myself into- he called me at 2 am to come over and "watch a movie or something," and i was curious to see if i maybe liked him as more than friends. i should have known a little bit better, since i'm decently sexually naive (virgin) that it was going to push my comfort zone. i think what i'm most concerned about is that i really dont want to get a bad reputation for this one night
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Now time to let him know then that what happen will not happen again and that you felt pressured into it and that the alcohol did not help matters Make it clear you are not happy that it went that far hugs
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Well you were drunk and not in the right state of mind, so I'm sure that no one will hold that against you. Just make it clear that you don't want anything like that happening with him again.
     
  6. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    i'm so tired of having the shit in my past be brought up when i'd thought i'd buried it so long ago. i just wish we'd watched the movie instead...
     
  7. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    Don't get drunk? Fairly simple solution.
     
  8. marklondon

    marklondon Well-Known Member

    Sorry, how is that a solution, considering it's already happened? Alcohol is a normal part of life, people drink it, and sometimes when people drink it, they do things they regret. How does it solve anything to say, after the fact, they shouldn't have done it?

    Personally, I would think if this guy is really one of your really good friends, then he wouldn't go around spreading rumours about you, nor would he lose any respect for you over something like this. It may not seem like it to you now, but sex and sexuality are normal things which everyone does, not something anyone should get any sort of 'reputation' for doing, any more than someone should get a 'reputation' for liking sandwiches or walks in the park. What's unfortunate is that you ended up doing something that you didn't want to do, or weren't sure if you wanted to do--but that's unfortunate only because you let yourself down, not because of what anyone else thinks. It's really no one's business but yours and your partner's what you do with your own sex life, and anyone who thinks it is their business has a lot of growing up to do. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
     
  9. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    marklondon, that makes me feel so much better. there was a period of time in my life when one of my good guy friend began sexually harassed and abused me regularly, and it's left me outstandingly reluctant to be sexual in almost any way. it's still kind of a shock to me i guess when i find myself in a sexual situation. i'm getting better at it, and i'm working on these problems. that night was pretty big for me, and i didn't really know how to handle it afterwards. i'm getting a grip on it now, even though its still fairly hard to do.
     
  10. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    I was more of giving some advice for the future.

    Slavery used to be a normal part of life as well. This is a very poor argument.
     
  11. marklondon

    marklondon Well-Known Member

    It's really good to hear you're beginning to feel more of a grip on it. I wish you the best and I hope you remember that no matter what, your body belongs to you, and no one else--that means you have the right not to do anything you don't want to do, but it also means you have the right to enjoy being intimate with someone if you so choose, to whatever degree you feel comfortable with. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

    It is indeed a poor argument, and it's an even poorer pachyderm. Fortunately it was intended to be neither. It was a simple statement of fact, and I would say a rather splendid one.

    Teetotalism--hmm, scintillating subject, always has been. I think I'll go contemplate it over a nice glass of wine. Good for the heart, you know.
     
  12. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    1) unnecessary to argue about each other's advice. while i do think it is kind of naive to assume that a girl in college can just simply go without any exposure to alcohol, it isn't unreasonable to suggest. so please do me a favor and stop. also, comparing alcohol to slavery was a little overboard, but okay.
    2) since seeking advice from some of my friends, they have all kept injecting their own opinions and judgments and it's overwhelming and now unwelcome. yeah, i did something dumb and something that was kind of a big deal, but i want to be able to handle it my way now that i've gotten over my initial shock. it's aggravating to say the least, and not helping me sort anything out
     
  13. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    in other news, tomorrow i'm going to go to therapy for the first time. hopefully there i can sort out some of my issues stemming from my abusive relationship in my past so i can try to have healthy relationships in the future