I saw the person who is supposed to be "supporting" me today, we talked about everything as usual, then I said I felt I was wasting his and everyone else's time by asking for help. I need structure in my life, I need something to focus on like some form of education, anything to break the cycle I am stuck in, but my "hormone cycle" won't allow me to keep anything up because I am practicaly bedridden with servere pain and flu-like symptoms for up to 2 weeks out of 4. Nobody is going to want to help anyone as unreliable as that are they? I can't leave the house through the worst of the pain as it causes me to almost pass out on occasions, which means I would not be able to attend anything regular at all. If I lose this support I have no idea what I will do, my period cycle has driven EVERYONE who cared about me away all but my boyfriend, who tries to bear watching me yelp like an animal as pain rips accross my stomach. Geez he must feel helpless seeing me like that. I mess up the lives of everyone who gets involved because my mood is so irratic, one minute I can be someone, then the next I'll change again, and again, and again. There is a pattern to all this, it fits in presicely with the structure of my cycle, but NOBODY beleives me, and it may well destroy me. Every month is a step closer to oblivion. This month has been AWFUL, I almost passed out (again) I wish I would so I could land up in hospital and maybe, just maybe, someone would consider running some tests on my hormones rather than just pushing Prozac and hormone pills at me. I am still tired almost a week into my "period", I just feel like my life has been drained out of me. No matter how much sleep I get, I am still tired tired tired. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?