I am a messed up, sick, waste of time.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheWr0ngChild, May 22, 2008.

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  1. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I saw the person who is supposed to be "supporting" me today, we talked about everything as usual, then I said I felt I was wasting his and everyone else's time by asking for help.

    I need structure in my life, I need something to focus on like some form of education, anything to break the cycle I am stuck in, but my "hormone cycle" won't allow me to keep anything up because I am practicaly bedridden with servere pain and flu-like symptoms for up to 2 weeks out of 4.

    Nobody is going to want to help anyone as unreliable as that are they? I can't leave the house through the worst of the pain as it causes me to almost pass out on occasions, which means I would not be able to attend anything regular at all.

    If I lose this support I have no idea what I will do, my period cycle has driven EVERYONE who cared about me away all but my boyfriend, who tries to bear watching me yelp like an animal as pain rips accross my stomach. Geez he must feel helpless seeing me like that.

    I mess up the lives of everyone who gets involved because my mood is so irratic, one minute I can be someone, then the next I'll change again, and again, and again. There is a pattern to all this, it fits in presicely with the structure of my cycle, but NOBODY beleives me, and it may well destroy me.
    Every month is a step closer to oblivion.

    This month has been AWFUL, I almost passed out (again) I wish I would so I could land up in hospital and maybe, just maybe, someone would consider running some tests on my hormones rather than just pushing Prozac and hormone pills at me. I am still tired almost a week into my "period", I just feel like my life has been drained out of me.
    No matter how much sleep I get, I am still tired tired tired.

  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i remember some people were suggesting it might be endometriosis? did you look into that? there might be an answer out there...
  3. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    No, because doctors DO NOT beleive in it, and in order to get it investigated you need to be refered by a doctor, and all they want is for me to take hormone pills and Prozac, both of which I have had violent reactions to.

    If I refuse these options they turn round and say I refused help so they are not going to offer me anything else. It's all down to money, and the fact I live in a poor town with obismal health services.

    There's more chance of striking oil in your backyard than anyone knowing anything about these issues here.
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you can keep suffering, or you can get a better doctor. endometriosis is a well-known medical condition. your doc should not be refusing to help you. that is unprofessional and you deserve more. is there only one doctor where you live? what about within a few hours drive? you are the expert on your symptoms. do not give up just 'cos your doctor is refusing to help. sometimes you have to fight for your rights. this is one of those times.

    i know you are exhausted, but why not try using the services of one of the many advocacy groups out there, just so that you have someone in your corner.

    you can also call this helpline: http://www.endometriosis-uk.org/ -- it costs nothing and you can ask if they can recommend any services near you. also on the site they list local support groups. there are 4 listed for the midlands. why not go along and see what it's all about.

    please don't give up without exploring all of the options available to you in order to get well, both physically and mentally.
  5. dreamstar

    dreamstar Active Member

    Hey Tin Woman, I know what its like to suffer with really bad physical pain. I've been suffering from horrible period pains for years and they've only gotten worse and worse over the years. I think they've kinda tapered off a little bit now but unfortunately I've developed a new health problem that is even worse and something that I have to deal with every single day and not just a couple weeks out of the month. It didnt start until I took this pain med Tramadol back in 2006. I havent been the same since. It completely shut down the function of my colon. So I'm really in major hell now and can barely eat much at all anymore because it just sits inside bloating me. Anyway, if I were you I would look into natural remedies. Its much cheaper than doctors/medical. I'll give you the link to this great site that offers tons and tons of information on different natural remedies you can try, www.curezone.com
    Also some other really good sites would be these, http://barefootherbalistmh.com/index.php?page=barefoot,
    Have you ever heard of juice fasting? I am wanting to try this and see if it will help some of my health problems. They say this is a quick way to cleanse/heal/renew the body. I can give you a good link about this method of healing, http://www.drfostersessentials.com/store/juicing.php. You can also learn about juice fasting through the other links I gave to you. Please check out these links and see if you’d be interested in any of these methods of healing. I hope that you can soon find some help to these debilitating problems your suffering from:(. I hope you and I both can soon find some help for our problems!

  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Don't give up finding proper medical attention. i am not familiar with the UK beyond socialized medicine, but I cannot imagine that doctors are unwilling to look deeper into your problems. Endometriosis is not something that is rare but occurs in many women. It causes intense pain to those that suffer from it. If your doctor doesn't believe in it, then you definitely need to go elsewhere and that doctor needs to increase his knowledge. This may not be what you have, but it bears looking into.
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