I Am a Monster and Deserve to Die

I have feelings for my cousin. She is a minor. Since she is a minor I am therefore a monster. She won't get out of my head. I won't hurt her, or get anywhere near her, but I cannot live knowing I am attracted to someone younger than me. I have a small penis and will never find a mate. I've been jelqing for over a year, and no exercises or stretches have helped to increase me in size. I am useless. I will never know love. I am a monster. I must die. I will kill myself tonight. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> I will die. It must be done.

 

First of all, I'm glad you won't go near your cousin or hurt her in any way.

Have you considered seeing a professional ... talking to a counselor or therapist to try and work through those feelings?

 

no, please don't kill yourself!!! please. you can't help who you're attracted to, it's not your fault... and it doesn't make you a monster... trust me, i'm attracted to my best friend... who is also a girl. os i know where you're coming from.. just, please think about this for one second... call 911, which is preferable..... just write me a message or pm me and just talk to someone... i'm here to help and i'm sure everyone on this site is here for you too... you must be looking for help, because otherwise you wouldn't have posted, right???
please think...
i care about you,
sydney

 

I have, and he said it was normal for guys my age to like teenagers, and that it wasn't creepy. He is a psychotherapy failure of a psychological therapist/counselor.

 

Thinking about a minor even in a sexual manner doesn't make you a monster Darksider. You become a monster only if you choose to act on these thoughts and sexually assault a minor. Don't harm yourself.

 

How old are you? How old is your cousin?

I once had a conversation with my therapist about this. She said that in a study it was found that all people have thoughts like this, but some people focus on them and dwell on them and angst over them and the rest of people let the thought go and give it no weight. She said that the study also showed that those who angst and focus on those thoughts are far safer than those who don't, and she said she would trust her child to be left with someone who stressed about those thoughts.

Thoughts similar to those I described above can also be related to some mental health problems and can be sorted with the right medication and help and support.

I think you need to try and remind yourself that its a thought and a thought holds no weight unless you give it weight. You have no intention on acting on any inappropriate thought and that's what makes you not a monster.

 

You're not a monster, as pointed out everyone goes through those kind of emotions. It's really hard to want something you can't have or that can't be but things can change. You just have to wait this one out, even if it seems impossible you can meet the person of your dreams out of the blue. Just wait it out, time has a funny way of healing bad feelings.

And having a small penis doesn't affect the chance of finding someone. Most people who think they have a small member are in fact average in size, the porn industry has twisted the general view on this and in reality girls don't even care about it.

 

Hi Darksider. As a high school teacher, I meet many, many good looking girls who are under 18, but that's part of my job. Thoughts are meaningless in my opinion, because no one knows that you're having these thoughts except for you. But if you act on these impure thoughts, then you're in trouble.