I am a shopper...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jimk, Feb 6, 2012.

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  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    another couple of months and i will be 65 yrs old.. have done the buying routine most of those years.. books, paperbacks, music 8tracks, cds adn records first.. vhs videotapemovies.. dvds, movies, television seasons and blurays.. got a ton of all of this.. lot still in original plastic and new.. never going to get to a lot of this.. heck, i am amazed i have lived this long with all the stupid crazyass stuff done so far..

    the drugs and hard liquor ditched over 32 yrs ago.. cigs not so easy to ditch.. got some control over the dvd buying lately.. but the new ipad2 and itunes music is picking up the slack..

    a thought all the time.. i can buy this.. now..lol the little steps to make it mine is accompanied with a good feeling and buzz thru the getting.. after, rite after the feelings i did it again just now and lot of remorse.. childhood was a horror show and realize in order to make up and compensate i shop and acquire.. this is not really working out the way i wish it would.. would love to be held by a beautiful caring person adn to hear "i love you very much Jim".. that ain;t going to happen either..

    alternative has to be the answer and course of actions.. i do not need this.. look at zooms and if available walk over , kiss on his nose.. a hug and clearly state to him just how much i love him.. my world is much better now than it used to be.. no truthfully, tons better.. i can forstall the buying urges.. look around and try to bring some other needy people some warmth and understanding into their lives.. we are not hiding anymore adn get out among people everyday now.. just maybe the giving will also lead to me getting the favor returned back to me..
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My aunt always said what we give we get back ten fold You have given lots hun to people you are caring and i am glad you have your son in your life It is hard the buying thing i am opposite to you i never buy me anything and when i do i feel so bad about it I think you should buy things that bring you joy hun You deserve kindness and compassion hugs
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so difficult to decide what to collect until you start to collect compassion...then material things seem so meaningless...sounds like that is a lesson well learned by you...and yes, a kiss on the nose would be perfect right now...but then again, when wouldn't it?
     
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    ((Eclipse adn Sadeyes)) i value very much your friendships.. i know something good when it comes fluttering by.. thanks to grandma i am pretty much finaancially ok as long as i do not go totally over the edge with my funds.. this morning for $10 dollars i am the proud new owner of McCartney's new alblum .. also just could not resist the $34 for all the best singles of the rolling stones.. playing music on my ipad in the middle of night at a lower volume so john stays asleep is beyond value to me..

    just smoking the marlboros and drinking some more coffee , wrapped up in my sweats with the music is a real slice of heaven to me.. had some tough times in my life and thank god i am able to realize when it is much better.. took me awhile..lol but i got there..

    hope you two sleeping peacefully now and that the upcoming day is very good for you.. time to go check the downloading of the stones... first one will listen to is let's spend the night together wiht mick and the boys...LOL
     
  5. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I know that when I am feeling stressed or down, I tend to have to go out and buy something. but even when
    things are going good, I tend to buy dvds alot, I also love to go to the thrift stores just to see if there is anything
    that looks like an antique..I sometimes feel like I should buy something, but when the day is over and I havent
    I actually feel like I won over my impulses to buy, and I kinda feel good. some of my dvds are still in the package.
    but the next day it all comes back, and the buying race continues. thanks for sharing your experiences and your
    life.
     
  6. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    HI lefty and thanks for your words here.. helps some to know another dvd shopper.. good to know it is not just me...LOL yes can identify with the sudden urge which often becomes irrestible to just buy.. had resolved this mornign not to do amazon or itunes today.. 5 minutes later i was on ipad and bought some tunes.. thank god grandma left me some money but..... sometimes i just can't stop..
     
  7. letty

    letty Banned Member

    i have that urge to buy today, stressing alot, I also told myself I wasnt going to buy today, but I just bought a cd the Eagles
     
  8. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    My downfall is office supplies: sticky note pads, pens, pencils, paperclips, staplers, rulers, scissors...How many does one need? *turns pink* I try to stay away from Staples/Business Depot and the like so I'm not tempted.
     
  9. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :lol!: I had to throw three industrial size bags of stuff away, because I kept collecting and buying. There was no end. I am trying to live as a minimalist now. We'll see how it goes. My mom wanted me to throw away my chess magazines. I was adamant on saying no. Chess is my life. It hasn't been so much recently, because my meds are functioning better. I believe it was part of my psychosis.

    Now that I have my meds, I'm not as focused on it anymore. We'll see if I get any stronger through osmosis. :lol!:
     
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