I am 34 years old and have 3 kids (unfortunately now 27 weeks pregnant with my 4th), this past April i lost my job due to a severe spinal issue ive been suffering from and my husband, myself and our kids had to move into his parents home. My father in law is seriously mentally ill with major control and temper issues, my mother in law is manipulative and evil. All of us have had to cram in a tiny bedroom because my in laws refused to let the kids run around in the living room and spare rooms, living like that has taken its toll. Dealing with my father in law trying to control my bank accounts and our lives while listening to him throw daily tantrums when he doesnt get his way with screaming and kicking things has destroyed me - watching my 6 year old wet her pants every night because of stress and fear of the daily going ons around the house has added to my issues. My mother in law steals from me and when I confront her, calls me a "worthless motherf*****" or a "bit**". When my mother in law snooped through my things and found out I was pregnant she called my parents and told them then emailed everyone under the sun copying me and my husband telling me im causing them stress by getting pregnant and i need to get an abortion. I ended up in premature labor 2 times around 19 weeks and decided i needed to go to NJ to see my parents and look for a place to stay so we can get on our feet and get out of the mess in FL. Unfortunately my sister and her lazy boyfriend live here at my parents for free and they have caused me EXTREME stress. My parents dont want me here and refuse to help us. My sister and mother do nothing but judge me - every time i open my mouth my mom screams at me to shut up and just when I didnt think things could get any worse... My 70 year old father tries to hang himself outside from a tree 4AM Christmas day - my sister found him outside and took him to the ER and after he spent the following 2 weeks in a special unit in the hospital. Everyone here blames me because they say my mere presence pushed him to it since he didnt want me here to begin with and didnt even want to pick me up at the airport. I know my mom resents me to no end for some reason. I am a failure in her eyes ive always been because I have kids and i am not wealthy. Both my mom and my sister are trying to buy me plane tickets back to the hell in FL knowing I cant go back to my inlaws. She looks like me like I am some piece of crap that she refuses to help in any way. My sister runs around mooching off them costing them thousands of dollars and then pretends to be helpful towards my father by talking to him like he is a 2 year old yet I am the one who takes him 8 AM every day to his 7 hour meetings at the hospital and picks him up because no one else wants to do it. I spent my birthday in November crying the entire day in my car, no one called me or sent me a card and my mother in law slammed the car door on my leg on purpose. My birth mother tells me how much she does for my brother's new girlfriend and her kid she had with another guy and didnt even wish me a happy birthday. She doesnt remember when my birthday is. Then again it doesnt matter because its the last birthday i have to suffer through. I dont see a way out of this. I am essentially homeless as everyone has turned their backs on me and I cant provide a good life for my children. I cant go back to FL because my mother in law told my husband to cut all ties with me and this baby and im not welcome back in their home, but i cant stay in NJ at my parents either with my kids or without them not to mention Its almost impossible to get medical insurance here before I have the baby. I have come to determine that I need to give this one up for adoption. I no longer sleep and all i do is worry about things and its eaten me alive. I have no real friends and each day it gets harder and harder to keep it together. I know what I have to do which is end my pathetic excuse for a life - but I know I cant do it while being pregnant with this life inside of me. My husband told me I am being selfish but I really think HES being selfish wanting me to be around to suffer like this for so long. Being in my own body hurts on a daily basis both mentally and physically. I want the pain to go away, my parents wont care and im sure his parents will be thrilled to pieces knowing ive passed. Life isnt supposed to hurt so much...I wish things could have been different but things are what they are. I tried to start a new life back here but it cant work. I am a basket-case, I cant sleep its been 3 days and I cannot eat well which I know isnt good for the baby. The hardest part of all of this and what im going to do in just a few months is never seeing my kids again, I love them so much and I just hope they dont hate me for what I have to do.