I can't imagine living another day. I am alone. Of course you say I have my parents, and my siblings, but they are only there because they are required to be there by social norms. They wouldn't be there if they weren't that relation to me. I have no friends, hell I can barely talk to family without the fear of what they think of me so making friends isn't possible. I'm falling behind in school because I can't work up the courage to talk to teachers, and just being in the rooms with the 20 other kids makes me want to cry. I have no friends to turn to, at least anything other than internet "friends" and they really don't care. I'm tired of being afraid of people, and I am tired of living. I've lost all hope. I won't amount to anything in my future, so why not end it now? Before I have to just be an expense for those around me. I can't use a therapist, as opening up to someone I know is impossible. The medicine I have recently started won't help. The only release I have, cutting, just makes me hate myself more. Maybe I'll slip up later and go too far. Maybe I'll end it all then. I hope.