I am always messing something up.

It's good for me when I have my fuck ups laid out for me to see. Then I understand that I have done wrong, and it reminds me not to do it again, and that I can be better. Well, the other side of that coin is that I feel I will always screw up or cause some damage. I think wow, I really messed that up, maybe people think less of me, maybe they don't like me at all anymore. I don't want anyone to have a bad opinion of me because I do the wrong things sometimes. I'm not a bad person, I don't even do things on purpose but it just creates problems. So how do I learn to let go of that and move on? I feel like there is no place for me in this life if all I do is leave a mess wherever I go.

 

We do need to remember our mistakes for not repeating them, but we should also forgive ourselves for the mistakes while we are avoiding to repeat them again. When I feel like I make mistakes or I always do wrong things or things wrongly. I feel discouraged to try again but then I try to remind myself about a picture of a toddler trying to walk and run. He fails and fails but he continues and at the end he manges to learn. It's very motivational for me.

Please don't be too worried about the other people's judgement, you can do very good and they would still criticize you sometimes.

 

I know the feeling. And it sucks. The key, at least for me, is when I catch myself thinking that I "always" mess things up, is reframing the thought. I learned cognitive behavioral therapy during my stay in the hospital a couple years ago. In CBT, thoughts like that are called automatic negative thoughts or "ANTs". I find it helps for me to keep a journal and write down thoughts like that and then rewrite them to correct it from being an "always" statement to something like "even though I don't always make the best decisions, everyone makes mistakes. It's only human, but I can't blame myself every time something goes wrong." Having friends who care about you and encourage you when you're feeling that way helps too.

 

I think I am hardest on myself. People do criticize at times, but I tend to judge myself more harshly. I feel that I learn from some mistakes, but some I repeat, especially when I am upset and have trouble regulating my emotions. I feel like such an idiot at times.

 

Thank you for the tips I will try to keep that all in mind and remember that it's not the end of the world if I make mistakes sometimes.

 

That's awesome, I wish you good luck with trying the tip. It seems useful, I will also try it. Thanks to Feathertail

 

Only ourselves is our own worst critic. Sometimes laughing at the mess is also helpful in the regrets deparment.