I am an IDIOT!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Blanca, Dec 17, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Blanca

    Blanca Well-Known Member

    I am an idiot ,I am making a fool out of myself,I got no dignity left,no pride,nothing.......I sunk SO LOW it's embarrassing......I am begging for attention and love and I am asking the wrong person for it.....I am treated like TRASH when everything I want is peace and harmony and I am giving the best of me.I am ignored and hurt by the person who means the most to me.I thought he and his love will be my salvation but it's worse.I ended up with more problems.I am a mess and I don't see any ways out.This won't end up GOOD,I can feel it.I never felt so low and depressed in my whole life and I didn't have an easy life,not at all but so far I managed to stay alive.......I got no energy left.No desire to live.I don't want anything anymore.I hurt and I cry every day and I feel miserable and worthless.I know I can't be happy whether it's because of me and my shit or the way others are treating me.it doesn't even matter anymore........it's a mess and I can't get out of the dark...everything is painful.I just wanna S L E E P...............................
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2009
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Blanca

    Welcome to the site.You are not an idiot! I can really relate to what you're saying...From what you have wrote I can tell you have very low confidence and self esteem. Do you think you could see a therapist about this? It really helps to have someone there with you to confide in. I wish you all the best :hug: Keep talking if it helps.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2009
  3. Blanca

    Blanca Well-Known Member

    Yes,my self esteem is currently down to zero..........when things should have been better they got worse...so bad I can't function anymore........

    No,I don't wanna see a therapist.
    1.I really can't afford it.
    2.I don't trust them,the one I went to a few years ago made things worse.First she prescribed me the wrong pills,I almost died because of that and second,she manipulated me and my family and made us turn against each other.Surprise,surprise,she was fired for malpractice 2 years later........
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Are you in university? I know of a few members here that get therapy at a much lower rate than usual from their uni or college.

    I think you've confused therapist with psychiatrist, a therapist where I live cannot prescribe medication.
     
  5. Blanca

    Blanca Well-Known Member

    No,she was a therapist.....and yes they can prescribe here meds like they give out candy.........you don't prescribe sleeping pills to someone who has a drinking problem and wants to die,even I know that....but I don't wanna talk about her,I trusted her and I am getting mad when I recall everything that happened.......

    No,I graduated University a few years ago........

    trust me there's nowhere I can go for help (has to do with my location in the first place but I don't wanna go into that now...)
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Oh,thanks, I didn't know that!

    If you want to talk about what happened privately,you can send me a private message. It might help to get it all out! You've come this far, please don't give up now. :hug:
     
  7. Blanca

    Blanca Well-Known Member

    I will :hug:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.