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i am an idiot

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cpt-Fantastic, Mar 27, 2011.

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  1. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    hey back again, i dont know if some of you read a previous post of me about my gambling debt i racked up. well now my lendors want their money back which is entirely reasonable and i really want to give it back to them but right now i have no money left. i am selling my bike and im looking for other things to put on ebay, im looking for jobs and other ways to make money. but it takes time, and time is one thing that i havent got, i need about 11000 euros before may 1st. i've started to think to go gambling again with the money i make from selling my bike in the hope of winning enough to pay back the debt. i even looked at getting short term loans, all i found was nigerian con artists who said 'i am a pastor, give me several hundred dollar in advance for fees and i loan you 87.000 dollars' i feel like such an idiot really thinking about racking up more debt to pay of debt, and even more so for wanting to gamble again, but i try to rationalise it and it makes sense to gamble again, knowing i will risk it all but i just dont know what to do. besides rob a bank or something. ow and in 6 weeks i have my final exams for high school (im 21 then) and i havent learned i need to do 3 years in 6 weeks but i havent even bought the books yet, i try to make excuses like say that i have add, but im just lazy laying on the couch, sitting behind the computer visiting the same sites over and over again out of boredom. i have myself, and maybe if i die some money will come free to pay of my debt to society, or i could donate myself to science maybe that saves money for the funeral, i dont know anymore. i know of no source to go to for sound advice and frankly i feel like here being isolated on my own is having its effect on my sanity, im afraid to make the right choices commiting to wrong choices would be devastating at this point. i just dont know what to do, just killing myself would be so easy
  2. Internet

    Internet New Member

    Dont killl yourself.
  3. How about asking your friends to help you accumulate some money and also tell your debtors that you have insufficient money to pay all at once.. How about allowing you to pay in installments?? Tell them and seek for help, also suicide is not the answer to this.. You are worth more than the amount you owed.. Don't ever think of suicide to clear your debt.. Get your friends, your professors or teachers to help you.. Tell them.. If possible, get help from your family members.. Try.. :hugtackles:
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    It all depends on who you owe the money to. With gambling, it might not be people you can say no to. That said, if its gangsters you owe then you can work out a payment plan. Gambling to try and win back losses is a bad move.

    If you owe to some legit company, then making a payment plan is easier.

    Either way, what you need to do is quit gambling - attend a few GA meetings (just to see how bad it might get if you continue) and tell friends and family about your gambling problems.

    Its about 15,000 US dollars - a fair bit of money for sure but in the scheme of things its easy to pay back on a payment plan. And if the payment is more urgent than that - you have a fair bit of time to try and get something.
  5. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    @mrmarathon i cant tell my friends or family, they think i stashed it all in a swiss bank account i cant tell them, it would be devastating

    @peacelovingguys thank sfor the advice, ill attend the first ga meeting next week monday

    how are things going now? i sold the bike, got 1000, i put it in my gambling account and put it to work. i nearly lost it by betting on netherlands, but got 14% profit. then just now i made an arrangement of multiple bets, and more like hypothetical i was doubting whether i should do it. but i clicked before i knew it. i can win about double what i put in, but the risk is tremendous. i feel sick right now, i know for sure ill lose it. i actually feel physically sick. but i got to do this shit. i went to the bank they will give me 11k loan for 9,5% but that is out of reach because of all the paperwork that wont happen in time and im such a fool, what to do what to do , well what to do is clear but why dont i do it, i need to put my ass in gear. but even then im suffocating in debt, and the banks wont loan me in time, and im afraid of asking anyone to loan me
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