i am angry, sad, tired, depressed, suicidal

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, Feb 16, 2015.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I am angry that none of my friends and family cares. I post on facebook (I only have 23 friends that includes only family and close friends) and no one even bothers to reply or cheer me up or anything. The only person I have in my corner is my mom. That's it. And she's sick.

    I also have a cat now. Which made me realize how little affection I ever had. Turns out I need a lot of it. But other than my cat, I have no one to help me with this.

    I get so tired, I can't even speak. It's too much just to think, to phrase things even in my head. I'm tired of it all, I have no life, and can't leave the house because its too damn cold out. -37c freezes my lungs completely and so I can't breathe, so I'm stuck inside. There's just so much one can do at cooped up at home all this time. I have no life, and it's not that I'm not trying to have a life. I plan to go swimming on the weekends, when it gets warmer that is. It feels like it never will happen.

    I have no friends, the friends I had were not friends. People take advantage all the time, and I'm just tired to be the one taken advantage of. My neighbor wants my life, so I had to put a stop to it. She wanted my desk, my camera, my cat, and would call me 3 or 4 times a day, or come knocking at my door repeatedly. For all kinds of reasons.

    My psychiatrist is retiring so I was referred to a family doctor. So now I'm nervous and unsure on how this will work out. I want to die, I really do. I am just a waste of space, I can't even write or do anything. I can't clean, can't cook...I do take care of my cat more than myself. I think the only reason I don't kill myself is my cat and mom. My cat was a stray, I got her at the SPCA, she's 7 years old....
     
  2. I'm glad that you have at least your cat and your mom to keep you hanging on. I've been in that dark place that you are now in, and I understand that it feels like it will never end or just get worse. I also understand that when you feel that way, nothing that anyone says can really make you feel better. I just hope that you can keep on hanging on until things get at least a bit better.