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I am at breaking point ffs

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by catch_me_if_u_can, Nov 16, 2007.

  1. catch_me_if_u_can

    catch_me_if_u_can New Member

    Want to punish myself. I have started to analyse water-areas, because im going to drown myself. But fuck. Its hard. I dont want to live, its boring, its depressing and this isnt the path I was suppose to follow. But.. Ahh... My family. Its great. My brother and sister loves me. And NOONE knows I have problems. Beside my girlfriend which dumped me 2 weeks ago , I told her everything. That I was sucidial. And the craziest shit, she said I must stop bothering he. It isnt that she dosent care. But It was my fault she left. Because I did write som wierd shit 2 her. And now, I regret. It was her who took contact with me, she took the step, she really loved me. ANd im so stupid that I fucked all up. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Stt its hard. I looooveee her. She was perfect for me. If I hadnt been so dumb. I cant take it seeing her with someone else. I mean ut. I CANT. Im going out now, to analyse more areas.

    Btw, I have many good friends. Most people like me. I have a great life, beside on the girl-front and my head is messed up. Its boring, I dont want to live like this. :blink:
  2. Clouded

    Clouded Member

    Maybe she had to walk away because she didn't know how to help ? Recently I have cursed a lot of people for not caring but I also found out that a lot of them just distance themselves because they don't know how to help and it hurts them to see me hurt and not be able to help. If you feel suicidal then get professional support when you have the courage to. Or talk to people here. This is only my second post and I haven't spoken to anyone on this board yet but I can see from past posts there will be someone here who not only cares but UNDERSTANDS how you feel and how much it can hurt. That only can be a comfort.

    It's worrying you have already got to a stage of planning how and where. Please carry on talking. This post is the first step. It shows you want someone to help/care and people here do. It won't end your pain right now but it is a tiny step to believing the pain can end ?