I am back again

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Monkay, Jan 17, 2008.

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  1. Monkay

    Monkay New Member

    Been a long time people and really believed I was getting over my husbands death

    www.martynrudland.com he was lovely and still miss him.

    To cut a long story short I had a bit of a falling out with a website 17 months ago and I joined a rival one and eventually promoted from Member to Mod to Admin.

    One of the members has picked on me in varias guises on both sites. I have coped marvolously through this with help from my partner who has kept me from doing anthing regrettable.

    Then this came
    its the first post and the cult reference is too our site currently in maintainence mode and obviously I have taken this to heart obviously they are discussing suicide and thats no crime and I know that but he came into our site and sucide before and its subtle as a brick.

    I never killed Martyn I swear I never wanted him to go and I am so sorry I may have been partially responciable but Marty died because someone was bullying him and I feel I have been bullied for too long by this man. Everyday I wake up and I envisiage my wrists bleeding and yet I would never slit my wrists - (takes too long) I also think I am still here and yet I have this idillic life and a man I care about and him I.

    Maybe I am being too sensitive and I look silly (thats nothing knew) but

    A/ this woman is better off looking silly than dead (does not stop me wishing though)

    B/ Its my perception of the situation and thats got to be important.

    C/ Better to be thought of a fool than to be one.
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Sorry to hear about your husband hun :hug:
    I looked on your site, it's very moving.

    Welcome to SF

    Sam xoxo
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    welcome back to SF. I am sorry to hear about your husband and that he was a victim of bullying. I am glad you have support now and hope you are able to continue to rise above things. please take care. :hug:
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