I am back but not for long

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ticia, Aug 28, 2006.

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  1. Ticia

    Ticia Guest

    I am back but not for long. I am on my 2 week without eating or drinking.
    I know I tried it before. My worker stopped me last time but now I have no worker. I know it will not be more than a week now because my urine is med.brown. I know I will make it this time because I have nothing to drink or eat in the house,and I have no money to get anything.
     
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    aww hun, sorry i dont know your story but your post made me write a reply

    i dunno what to say really, please consider staying here with us, im here if you need to talk

    vikki x
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2006
  3. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    please rethink this and call someone...
     
  4. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    i also felt compelled to answer, i hope you decide to reconsider, and stay with us, there are many people to help you, and for you to help in return. i am also here if you need me to talk to. :hug:
     
  5. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Hi Ticia

    im glad your back but im really sorry your feeling so bad.i could really hear the emotional pain in your post.i dont really know your story but im always here and willing to listen either on the forum and/or via private messaging/email if you prefer.You say in your post you had a worker previously and im wondering what type of worker that was?ANd also why they left you?Please never feel you have to answer any of my questions [either the ones above or ones to follow] if you dont feel comfortable,dont want to or dont feel upto it or whatever but also i was just wondering perhaps if at some point you may want to say a bit more about whats made you feel so bad,whats made you feel like doing what you are to yourself?ANd has anything specific happened recently to make you feel worse?THere is never any pressure to talk here so please dont feel intimidated or anything by me but i just thought that perhaps it some point it may help you to get more out and i just wanted to let you know i am always here for you.You sound in a lot of emotional pain and obviously from your post i am also concerned for your physical health too.im worried aobut you and it would always be good to hear from you.im not gonna lecture you on what your doing as i have no right to do that and also i harm myself in other ways too so id be at the least a bit of a hypocrite to do so But please think about both the risks of what you are doing,why you are feeling so bad about yourself and if this is really what you want for yourself.You sound so unhappy and i wish i could do more for you but i am here.Finally a last question before i shut up [spologies cos i probalby should have done that ages ago and this reply has probably been little use to you] but i was thinking and wondering how you managed to stop before?How your worker and/or you managed to stop you?im just wondering if thinking about that may give you some ideas on dealing with this again this time to keep yourself as safe as possible and also perhaps to give you a little more hope back.It sounds like you could do with feeling some hope inside right now though i know its not always the easiest thing to get.i really hope you can get some of the support,friendship and hope you need here and it is good to see you back on the site.Please keep coming back if it helps.

    Please take care
    kath

    PS Sorry i think i forgot to ask if although i know your worker has now left you is there anyone else around you who can offer support or anyone you may be able to consider approaching to ask for this?ANyone you trust,like and know enough to talk to?Sorry for all the questions!You just seem so alone and i want to help but i know im not managing really.Sorry!
     
  6. Ticia

    Ticia Guest

    It was a social worker that came around once a week or so. He got me back on me meds. But at 300.00 a month I could not aford them for long.He was sopost to get me a ride into Kingston so I could go to the disibilty trybunal so I could get disibility but he did not.So now I have no income and no hope of getting any. A little bit about what is happening. When my step-father died I got over 1hundred thousand dollars and my daughter talked me into buying a store with 4 apt.
    Thay were sopost to have payed me 300 a month but thay did not. My son-in-law is always complaying about how much I cost him. And no my daughter and son-in-law does not care if I die. As a matter of fact thay would be better off because thay could rent this apt and not have to pay the hydro.
    My daughter has her washer in my bedroom which I do not sleep in any more.because she would come in with out knocking and I would be in bed.
    She was even in my fridge and put pinkine in my freezer for thoes that don't know what that is it is baby hamsters for food for snakes and such. She has a pet store. So she know I have no food. She has not taken me shopping for food in over 6 months. My son-in-law even lookes in the window to see if I am still alive. I mean thay don't want me stinking up this place.
    PS I don't have a phone so even if I wanted to call for help I can't
    In one month I won't even have a tv or internet
     
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    im very story to hear about your situation, i really dont know what i can say... sorry for me being such a twat, we're all here for you. have you tried the charity's that can offer food and support?

    vikki x

    ps. if you click 'edit' which is under the post you want to add something in, you dont have to post your statement time after time, just an easier way of changing your post's. but it only works for 30 mins
     
  8. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    it does sound like you are getting no support... i think you should fight for yourself... have them evicted and rent out the appartments to ppl who will pay you... they sound like they do not deserve your taking care of them ... i know this sounds harsh ... but if you save yourself ...you may if you want to help them second... please do whatyou have to to get yourself on a better footing ...both physical and financial health.. hugs and strength..
     
  9. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Hey Ticia

    Thankyou for replying to us.It was good to hear from you again.i am so sorry for your situation.It sounds like you are going throug so much pretty much totally alone and have such a lot on your plate and to deal with.i dont want to put words in your mouth but it sounds from your posts that you are so tired and drained now emotionally and if that is true [feel free to tell me if it isnt] then i think i can relate to some degree.i would never know what its like to be you and i wouldnt pretend to.But i do want to say plesae plesae dont give up now.i knwo thats easier for me to say than for you to do but its really important.Youve been through so much and i think you can come through this.im so sorry youve been left so much on your own it seems.i liked -vikki- suggesting about the possibility of looking into charitys that could perhaps provide or help with food etc.i hadnt thought of that idea but it is probably well worth checking out.Life is definitely a struggle when you havent even got the basic things.It makes it so hard to even think about other things sometimes i find if you havent even got the basics cos you always have to look for them instead.You dont have time for a life then!Well thats what i find anyway but im probably just very very oodd.Regarding the social worker is there any way you can find a way to make contact again?ive found ive had some good experiences with people like that and also not so good but it may be worth contacting them again and seeing what they say.Personally i think its appalling they have left you when things are like this for you and im sorry they have [though i know thats only my opinion but thought id say it and hope you dont mind.]Also as Allofme says its great if you can look out for other people in life and want to ehlp them but it sounds like you have a lot going on for you at the moment and a lot you need to do for you to try and make things better and possilbly make life at least a litttle more bearable.i know it can be hard but please try and look after yourself before you try and help others too.You sound really caring and i admire that in a person but please put yourself first for a bit.Only my feeling but i think you need to focus on you and gettting through this right now.Thanks for sharing and still here if you want to talk more either on this thread or via PM [private messaging] or email etc.We may not know you that well yet but from the number and content of the response to your thread it shows you are really cared for here already and we have been touched by your story.Please dont give up and we do care.Hugs if wanted!i hope you feel at least a little better and a little less alone soon at least.

    Please take care
    kath
     
  10. Ticia

    Ticia Guest

    I can't have them evicted it is there place. I can't get help. I live in a very small town and I have no phone and there is no pay phones here.Any help I can get is in Kingston and I can't phone or get there. So there is no help for me.
     
  11. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Ummm no offense... but if you would not have made it two weeks if you had not drank anything... you do know this right? I will say nothing more....
     
  12. Ticia

    Ticia Guest

    You are not taking everything into considreation. Like myweight and the weather here. Fat holds moisture and I am a little obease, and it has been raining here. My apt. is very damp and it is going through my skin.
     
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    True fat does hold moisture but not enough to sustane you our fat is not designed to hold extra water.

    Yes your skin will absorb a moderate amount of water but it will not absorb enough to sustain you. Not to call you a liar or anything but you have to have some water consumption in order for you to not be dead already.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 30, 2006
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