I can not escape the feeling of being completely alone. It is quite possibly the worst feeling to wake up and go to sleep with. I am not sure I want to live like this much longer. It seems the higher my mood goes the faster I drop, the harder I fall, the deeper I go. I really wish that one day, it would just end. I no longer feel any obligation to continue this life. It hurts beyond what any word can describe to see another person's happiness. what's worse is to see their happiness knowing, that for the first 23 years of my life and until I can cope with my past and current situation, that I will NEVER experience anything but anger, apathy and an irate jealousy of others that I do not show. I do not blame anyone for rejecting me, (relationship or just as a friend), I cant blame them. i do not even want to be around myself.