I am back!

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by pooky, Dec 28, 2013.

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  1. pooky

    pooky Living with A Beautiful Mind...

    I saw two other similar titled threads. Anyway...

    Hi friends,

    I am back and I hope to be active in this forum.I know most of those who once knew me have totally forgotten me, except the moderators and other extremely important people of this forum.

    I am in a good mood for the past 2 months. Here's how I am spending my last couple of months.

    I get up at around 7 to 8 am usually, and then take breakfast and then just switch on laptop for 2-3 hrs and so.I then sleep for at least 1 hour again and by 12 take bath.Then I practice some simple relaxation like meditation for 15-20 minutes by just closing my eyes and sitting legs folded and in a good posture.After that I study so that I can find find a descent work.At 2:00/2:30 pm have lunch.

    After that I clean the dishes and often do some house cleaning.My house gets dirty fairly quickly. At 3:30 pm ,I just go out and take a walk for thirty to sixty minutes depending on my feet. They are just too weak - bleeding from multiple toes, and burning sensation near the back of both the thumb toes especially the left leg.

    It gets interesting from here. After 4:30 pm I just relax for a bit, then I go out to visit my "those" affluent relatives and a couple of extremely close friends.

    I come back by 7 pm. I then focus on my hobbies such as creative short-story writing, poems, painting.I will post some of them in the near future.Some people call me fairly talented including strangers.(Lol, I know everyone is talented to some degree.)

    At around 9 pm I have dinner. Then I again fire up my laptop for a couple of hours. I sleep by 11/12 pm.

    I have my medications without fail for most of the days(due to schizophrenia). I live with father(and I am 25) who is always busy working - comes home by 9 pm, watches TV till 11 and then zzz...

    I rarely watch TV though.Whenever I watch, it's usually for 30 min to 1 hour.Haha!

    I will try my best to be active on a regular basis.

    Thanks, for taking out your time to read my post. Bye...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi pooky welcome back to sf
  3. pooky

    pooky Living with A Beautiful Mind...

    thanks dear, I hope you are well ,happy and full of energy.:wave:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am working on it hun i hope you are doing well too hugs
  5. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    Welcome back to the Forum! :wave:
  6. pooky

    pooky Living with A Beautiful Mind...

    Thanks everyone.

    Today I did practically nothing.I slept way too much and it's damn cold.Good thing about the cold part is that I love winters and the bad part of it is that I slept a bit more yesterday and today , without hardly doing anything productive.

    Oh and one more thing.My dad is usually in a sad mood because of me and his work pressure at the office.Yesterday at around 10 am in the morning , he was phoned by an old pal of his after probably 30 years. They chatted for about 1 hour.My father was very glad then.That buddy of my father is an auditor and is staying in LA for the past 30 yrs.It was 9 pm Saturday there in LA which is equal to around 10 am Sunday here. Father told me that the conversation on the phone was crystal clear as if he was there in my city.

    They both had studied and worked together, and after 30 yrs. again they had a conversation .So, dad was extremely delightful. Seeing my dad, slightly happy after so many yrs. has made me feel good.

    Dad was telling his friend that why he did not not take so many promotion offers at his office.I felt extremely sad to hear the reasons.

    Some people have all the luck.My father's friend is now earning a high-salary because he is working there for an extremely long time.His two children, a son and a daughter (who are around my age) are in a good college and are highly enjoying life.

    And my own friends of high school (I am in touch with some of them via social networking) are extremely enjoying life.Some are entrepreneurs having their own businesses , while others are doctors, and more importantly traveling around the world to the US, Europe, Ocenia and are enjoying life.

    Same for my relatives. Most of them are either extremely rich or are too lucky.

    Most of them who are of my age ,my friends and family members go to parties, are traveling the world,have cars, jobs, are extremely wealthy or just lucky and are overall contended with life.

    These don't apply to me and more importantly neither to my father.I know my father's condition is mostly my fault.

    Eight yrs ago my 1st psychotic eposide,multiple suicide attempts survived(some miraculously), 3 yrs later my mom died due to liver cancer , by fasting too much every saturday for three yrs. so that I can recover quickly(I know it's my fault.I suck at life).My two yr old new car was sold.I was jobless then and now.I have never gone out of my country. I don't go to parties.I never had a stable romantic relationship. I was bullied and beaten in school.I could not complete college. Some people tried to kill me when I was in the streets all alone by my self during psychotic episodes.I encountered a couple of supernatural phenomenas in my teens(due to hormonal imbalances) which drained all my energies. Of course, there are many more dark things associated with my so called life.

    On the positive, these events have made me stronger and wiser. At 25 , I am much more bold and mature. I don't care what people think and talk about me.I am less suicidal at present. I will not stand bullying and will probably hit that stranger if they tried to bully me or anyone else.I genuinely care for humanity. I love most of the people I have ever met or had a chat with, including many of you people here on this forum. Some of the chats I had with you people are still fresh in my mind. I will never forget that because they are cemented in my mind.My outlook towards life has become broader and it's getting better every day.

    A couple of people say I am an extremely good human being(but that's not the truth).At the deepest level of my heart , I am an egotist.They say I am highly intelligent(again this is wrong because I took an actual IQ test due to my chronic mental illness which stated I have an average IQ and secondly,those medications are making me more dull and numb.) They have I am handsome and look like celebs.(I don't know the truth about this), but I should exercise more and eat healty.(This is true , lol, I am at present overweight due to my sedentary lifestyle).

    I love creative-writing(short stories and poems and about my life and anything in general),painting(mostly pencil sketches), keeping my house clean and volunteering my time for others.

    So, if you have any kind of small or big problem or simply want to cuss at me(hey that's actually a good thing. It makes you feel better by taking out your anger on someone else) then you should do that.I will try to offer solutions to your problems from my own experiences and secondly, I wouldn't mind at all if you cuss at me(after all we hardly know each other).

    So, friends you can write here or PM me or leave visitor messages - that you want to talk to me about anything.Please do come out of your shell and share your problems with others for it will ease your pain.People here are very friendly.

    We are in the same boat and are here to heal together.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2013
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