I am being bullied in college

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by pooky, Aug 30, 2012.

  1. pooky

    pooky Living with A Beautiful Mind...

    Hi all,:sad:

    I had a wonderful life before joining my new college.I had some few close friends,a gf and a loving dad.Now things have changed a lot.In my new college, everyone is picking on me.Each and everybody are harassing and bullying me.Worst one of my teachers is encouraging me to commit suicide.She said to me,"If you really want to commit suicide, then what is stopping you? You are the most evil person I have ever seen in my entire life".

    Every fellow peer of my are so much talented (there are around 40) - most of them are into dancing, singing, photography, gardening, painting...Almost everyone has a job..are super rich..I have no talents at all, no job , and from a poor family. :sad:

    Those fellows bully me by hitting on my back or worst my head...They call me odd names and make fun of me and hurt me...each and everyone ...they do something mischievous and put the blame on me...and others believe them...they lie to me and instead call me a lier,pathetic burden on earth..They have problems with the way I dress,the way I walk and interact,the way I look....they have every right reason to do so....because...

    1.I am the quietest person in my class..It is not wrong to say I am one of the quietest in my town.
    2.I hardly complain about anything.
    3.I am extremely suicidal.They know it.:sad:

    This has made me to skip classes. My dad has stopped being supportive of me.

    Everyone hates me...I am a loser...I don't deserve to live with you all...I am a burden on earth..why can't i just die?
    I have no body to turn to for help...I am feeling extremely guilty for letting my dad down...It's better if my whole life comes to an end...I don't care if I rot in hell because I have seen the worst the earth has to offer.I am the dumbest person you will ever meet...I am a curse...Everybody yells at me..they say,"so, you are a dumb retarded guy with no life,no job,no gf,no caring family,no talents,nothing positive and optimistic about you, then why do you bother to live".

    I am disheartened with all these..with all their words and actions...my mom has passed away due to cancer...my dad is always busy with his work...and worst i am shrinking to a shell of isolation(I am 23 and schizophrenic):sad:
    Please I need all these negativity to end in my ugly dead life

    Why should I bother to live when there is so much hatred for me?...My gf has left me..my dad is threatening to throw me out of his house...My friends harass and bully me...My teacher encourages me to go for suicide...I have nothing to prove in this world...I have no role model...I have lost all my faith in the almighty.:sad:I am lost all the faith in mankind...I have no job,no talent and worst no life....

    I cannot breathe in this world...I cannot sleep properly and I am rarely hungry...I am screaming so that the worst happens to me i.e. I go and rot in hell:sad:
  2. synchrohobbit

    synchrohobbit Active Member

    Some of the things you say seem so completely unbelievable, and that is only because they are awful. The fact that a teacher called you "evil" and people are actually hitting in college like you guys are third graders....so strange. Are you currently on medication for your schizophrenia? Before I was medicated I had anxiety-induced auditory and visual hallucinations and dreams I couldn't distinguish from reality, so is it at all possible that there is cross-over? I also don't think everyone hates you...college is a big place (even if it is just a couple thousand) and you may not have found them yet.
  3. pooky

    pooky Living with A Beautiful Mind...

    Whatever I have said are facts and truths and are not any delusions or assumptions or imagination.My teacher did call me "evil" and my classmates do "hit" me.They are super rich,they are very strong(they go to gym regularly unlike me) and they find it pleasurable to take on a poor guy like me.I don't have any hallucinations at present (another fact) .I have stopped going to college as a result of their hatred for me and my dad is deciding to throw me out of his house.He told me today in the morning that,"You don't deserve to live here.It's better if you go out and beg in the streets".(another truth)

    This is the very reason i don't talk about my thoughts and feelings in real life.ppl think that i am just having delusions or imaginations which is a big ugly lie.my mind is pretty clear about life just like an average joe.I have been on medi. 4 a long time around 8 yrs..what do u expect that i still have delusions or hallucinations or hear voices in my head.that is incorrect.(n i don't drink or smoke..i am not high)

    ppl r taking away all the good things that i deserves in life...they r not letting me 2 achieve anything.If u had the severe intensity of schizophrenia that i have then only u will be able 2 understand how tough my life has been...what i have been through

    everyone hates me...this is the reason i don't have any friend or a girlfriend...(well i only have ppl who hate me...hate everything about me).they don't respect me,abuse me and fill my life with negativity...

    i have locked my doors and closed all windows...i have hardly eaten anything today...

    u ppl think that my life is a joke,isn't it?...that i don't deserve love n respect ..i have 2 end it all because i am annoying u all,isn't it?
  4. pooky

    pooky Living with A Beautiful Mind...

    today some ppl broke into my house - my door knob is broken cuz they thought that i had died.

    I am sick n tired of ppl showing love to me in a false way..those ppl r actually taking advantage of my good nature.Today they thought that i had died only to find that i was alive tomorrow it may not be the same.
  5. Hey pooky, you are not a loser. I know how it feels to think that you deserve bad things to happen to you, so I understand that it's difficult to think otherwise, but trust me, the fault lies in THEM. They are the losers. It may seem as though they get pleasure in being horrible to you, but seriously, it will be eating away slowly at their souls and turning them black with hate and evilness. YOU can be stronger and bigger than them. I would try to avoid them as much as possible and focus only on yourself and your mental health. You deserve a safe and good life. Have you contacted the police? I am originally from India, so I know how bad things can be in some parts, and how there is a lack of recognition of mental health issues and there may be stigma around it, but I would strongly urge you to see if you can find a counselor or a doctor to talk to (you say you are on meds, but are you talking to anyone and getting help regarding the bullying situation?). You deserve so much more out of life.. please don't spend any more time putting yourself down and calling yourself a loser. You are NOT. It would be really great to hear an update!