Either my depression is increasing becoming worse or I am losing my ability to cope with it effectively. Sucidal thoughts have become more frequent and I have found myself planning out notes and methods. I'm just so tired you know? This thing is suffocating me, I take little joy out of anything anymore. My peers are all discussing their graduate jobs, dream houses/cars and future families. I see nothing, nothing awaits. I'm not sure if I want a future anymore. I feel so indifferent to everything, if I was diagnosed with a horrific disease tomorrow I would not care. I hate myself, I hate how I am never happy anymore, I hate how I have no drive and ambition to achieve anything yet alone live.