i am crying a lot

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by isd, Jan 4, 2010.

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  1. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    but i think it is a good thing - mostly just tears. feeling hot tears is better than cutting myself and feeling blood.

    i remember when i was around 18/19, lying on the bed thinking that i could not remember the last time i cried, must have been years. i thought there might be somethiing wrong with me. but i was gratefull too.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Sometimes crying can help, it serves as a sort of release.
     
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I agree with Alison...I am sorry you are feeling sad but also like she said it is a release and it sure is as hell is better than cutting yourself for sure.
    Take care and keep talking with us it helps.
    B
     
  4. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    thankyou.

    i am shattered, totally broken, i used to be a beautifull boy. and now i am physically and mentally a monster, i have a loving family, who know my situation and care about me, but i am too weak to even feel this to be a normal person

    a new decade, fills me with total fear

    i am trying to be strong but my insides are eaten away, need to get up
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    What are you shattered about? I am here to listen and offer any help that I can.
    I can here wanting to die...I had a needle in my arm ready to commit but now things are much better they really are so I am glad you are here...there is hope but like you said you can't feel it right now...do you mind sharing more? You may reach me in PM if you wish...
    B
     
  6. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    can i PM you
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Not sure which one of us you meant. :) But you can PM me anytime.
     
  8. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    thankyou allison. i am talking with bambi at he moment
     
  9. CarCrash

    CarCrash Member

    Hey hope everything is okay. I agree crying is 10000000x's better than seeing blood on your hands. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here too.
     
  10. nameslot

    nameslot Account Closed

    Hello isd.
    I hope Everything is okay and if not then Don't worry Everything will be alright and really sometime crying can help. I am also with you and when you need help then you can say me .
    Thank you very much for sharing your problem.
     
  11. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    thankyou all for you replys. i am trying to be more positive
     
  12. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    need to put this back to the top.

    tons of anxiety at the moment. too much time alone, but sometimes i feel unless you have expereinced a severly depressed/suicidal state then how can i build a relationship?

    definate agrophobia. i leave my flat maybe 1 to 2 hour a week. that's agrophobia, right?


    need to try and plan for tomorrow when i get up. so that i am not anxious straight from waking up. at least get a good few relaxed hours in.
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just wanted you to know I'm here and listening.
     
  14. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    thanks allison

    well i was in a bad way last night, but not as bad as i was in when i started the thread immediately. so maybe i learned to write something before things got really bad.

    i do a lot of looking in the mirror and seeing a monster. but its not always like this, so i just hope i can see a normal person more.

    i did some cleaning of the house. it's strange a lot of time i've made an effort to clean my house i've got bad depression. i dont know whether this is ujst coincindence. but it seems like an extra insult, as if i try and do something positive but tis negative i get.

    i had a dream that i was in my old family home last night and there was a table and piano we had there, and i was really into cleaning them. there was some polish and i really just wanted to get on and clean.

    then i changed house to this house a used to share with a few people a few years ago (i had some problems there) amd i ws dying to go and clean the kitchen, but someone had beaten me to it, and i felt bad . . because was not contributing (which is something i did not do enough of when i was there).

    really i hate cleaning. my flat is not too bad for a depressed single 30 something male, but could be better
     
  15. nimbus

    nimbus Well-Known Member

    sometimes i miss being able to cry. it just never seems to come and bring relief anymore. i'm just numb/hurting.
     
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