I am disappointed...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by KK99, Nov 27, 2012.

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  1. KK99

    KK99 Active Member

    ...in myself.

    After two years of barely self harming, I did it again.

    And even worse, I told my boyfriend that I did, and showed him the marks, too.

    The problem is, he's really close to my dad, and I hope he doesn't say one word of it...I made him swear to God not to tell, and in exchange, I'll never do it again....

    :wallbash: Oh, God. Why did I promise that...?

    But I only did it because I forgot how it felt (I did this about a week ago)...and I was feeling terrible 'cause I took myself off of my meds (which I am back on as of yesterday.)

    I'm afraid that I'll have to go back to the hospital or something...and I just got back from there just a few weeks ago.....

    Would I even have to go back...?


    Man, I just really, really hope he doesn't say anything. It won't do any good for anybody. :(
  2. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi KK99,
    Please see an professional with regards to this, did anything trigger this self-harming to re-surface?
    Have you tried exploring the reasons why you feel a need to self harm? Did anything happen in your childhood?
    Try distracting yourself when get feelings of wanting to self-harm, read a book, listen to music or come online and do whatever to distract.
    Take care
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    It sounds as if the root cause to this current action was related possibly to your taking yourself off medications. That in itself can be very dangerous - make sure that if there is a reason you wish to not take medications that you discuss it with the doctor first. Some medications require tapering off rather than just stopping cold turkey.
  4. KK99

    KK99 Active Member

    I took myself off my medication like an idiot. :/ That probably didn't help at all... XD
  5. KK99

    KK99 Active Member


    But I did it intentionally...I wanted to see whether or not there would be a difference on how I feel...and also, I was feeling suicidal at the time - but I'm fine now. ^_^
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