I am done. I want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pollo, Sep 19, 2011.

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  1. Pollo

    Pollo Well-Known Member

    I just need to shout that i feel extremely suicidal. I feel like taking my life by od . I feel like i do want to go back to the psychiatric hospital
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Please call emergency services and go back to the hospital. If that is how you feel, and you know yourself better than anyone else, please do so...thinking of you, J
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    What thoughts are you having Pollo?
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    If you feel like you need to go back then please do so asap..
    as sadeyes said..you know yourself best *hug*
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Everyone has moments they feel like giving up - even I.

    Well - sometimes its a moment - for others days, weeks, months - whatever. But you had a 'dark night of the soul' as it were - probably sitting in alone thinking about stuff. This can be nice - if we are in a good mood - but if you have depression - well you got to really understand the process you have going on. I mean to say - you have to know how long it might take you for suicidal thoughts to become actions.

    Talking to someone helps.

    As for going to a psych hospital - I'd give a great deal of thought to that - as I know you very well - and your working - holding down a good job - independent. At the end of the day - IF you have some method lined up (and you do) then if its a choice of attempting - or going into a hospital - its a no brainier at that point. I mean to say - you'd have to choose the hospital if all other methods were exhausted.

    It's painful to write this - because your my sponsor - we usually chat- but did not do so last night.

    I had to mention that - hope you don't mind. Besides - things ought to be in the open. I just hope- as a sponsor - I'm doing all I can. You have helped me a lot - I got to say your bright, intelligent and don't belong in a psych ward IMO. But - like I say - if its a choice of an OD or a stay in a hospital - we'd all want each other to choose the hospital here - would we not?

    So - I'm real upset to see you this way - hope its a hiccup (you had those before) and its lucky you can sleep on nights like last night - wake up - go to work - and so on.

    Hope you are in better spirits when you read this.

    You got a LOT to live for - people here would be shocked at how much you got! - but sure - success means nothing sometimes when we are down.

    Either way - your a strong women - I think you will triumph in the end.

    We all have bad days and nights.

    I just kind of say nothing about mine - you are brave enough to shout it out - so thanks.

    Hope the day is a nice one - your not often on this forum so - well - its hard to say "nice to see you" - I'd sooner see nobody here apart from a few mods and the owner - but that world is not ready for us yet!

    Anyhow - you got my support - you know that.

    Hope anyone else feeling this way can talk about it.
  6. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could lay down and sleep for a bit, clear your mind.. I'm sorry your feeling this way right now. (hugs)
  7. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Well - I've had many many nights thinking the worse.

    Usually worry myself to sleep.

    It is an exhausting process thinking you want to die.

    Usually we wake up - stumble - fall - walk on.

    We focus on what is missing in our lives - but for me - little that I have - I'm grateful for being alive and having some HOPE - because without that - we might as well all pack our bags - turn off the lights - and everything we might have been - all we might have created - will not be.

    Sometimes we want to kill ourselves to hurt others who have wronged us - but living will hurt them more - killing yourself will not affect those who do not care.

    It only hurts those who love you and care for you.

    It not picturesque - nor is an overdose actually liable to 'work' but there is a very good chance that the damage will make things far far worse.

    I don't want to head in that direction - it is a dangerous road - and can create very real reasons to not be able to enjoy life.

    Well - I know your in the same time zone as America - so you can chat to people if your up. I'm in England - but a night owl - soon to be a night owl studying - my excuse! Well - I'm always here - your a friend - and I don't care what time it is - if things are bad - I'm here for that sh**!

    Lots of people have PM'd me - feeling suicidal - and they end up going to sleep - sometimes just shouting things out will let you know your not alone.

    For us - this is important as in our 'real' lives - in reality - we do not open up in the office - pub or eating out with friends. We keep it in - and I'm NOT confessing my soul to anyone - its too big a deal to do that.

    Well people here care - and I just hope your in a place now were you can see that.

    Sleep is a great cure.

    Well I always wake up wishing I was dead - but by afternoon - I'm feeling OK - just wish I could disappear! By dinner time I'm hungry - affirmation of life.

    I'm not killing myself for people who made me angry.


    I will piss them off - by living. I got options - we all got options but not on a dark night of the soul I guess - only the option to speak out - listen - choose to live.

    There is no other way really.

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