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I am done with failing

mors321

SF Supporter
#1
Hi guys

I am feeling very close to giving up. There are so many parts of my life I am unhappy with, from my weight, to my personality, to my lack of talent, to the fact I’m currently unemployed, to how my relationships with my friends (I feel I have none) and with my family are.

I have spent the last few months trying really hard to improve on these things. I’ve stopped self harming. But honestly every time I try to fix these things, and the issues with myself, it just blows up in my face and I just am seriously struggling to find the motivation to carry on. I am seriously considering ending it because I just don’t think I have the energy to keep on failing over and over again and hating myself more and more.

I just don’t know if i want to scream and hit things or just sit in a small ball and cry. I’m just so fucking done.

I just have no one to turn to either. I’m very much alone.

I am sorry this post is a bit hopeless, I try to be positive but I am feeling very beyond hope at the moment. I promised myself I would fix myself by my birthday next year but I genuinely don’t know if I’ll be able to survive to the new year unless something changes
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#3
You can not deal with all of those things at once, divide the issues and make a mind map of every single issue. For issues that are purely mental or physical (anxiety, pain, etc) you can use distraction and/or meditation.

Job: If your intention is to be employed you probably already know what to do to increase the likelihood of an employer picking you over another applicant. You can physically take those actions, they involve using the internet, walking, talking, writing, and so on. But you cannot take two actions at once, neither do you have to. Remember this. Divided every task is easy, but many small tasks are hard to remember, so use lists. Education, volunteering, deceptive resume writing, malicious partnerships and back-scratching, etc.

Relationships: Without anyone that would be harmed at the time of our passing, few would feel held-back (would be bc of DNA programming) from committing suicide in a time of financial instability. Improving or creating relationships, real or imagined, will increase the pressure on you. Forcing you to stay alive by increasing the pressure to not kill yourself. Instead of standing between a hard-place and a long drop; you find yourself between a rock and a hard-place. This is obviously good when you are trying to survive.
 
#5
You have to make that change, if you’re hoping for some things to change. I know, it’s not that easy. Failing is a part of an endless suffering called Life. You don’t have to try so hard. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to stop trying for a while. But, please, don’t give up just yet. You’ve come this far and I’m proud of you. I hope you’ll be able to stay until New Year, every year. *hug
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
I just have no one to turn to either. I’m very much alone.

I am sorry this post is a bit hopeless, I try to be positive but I am feeling very beyond hope at the moment.
Don't be sorry for feeling hopeless @mors321 . You need to release the pressure of holding such powerful emotions inside where they only grow in power. Just talking about how you feel can be a great safety valve and allows you to get the understanding and support you need to help you feel more hopeful and positive. I hope you keep talking with us and that you find some relief and comfort in doing so.
 

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