I am done

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by duke_winchester, Mar 2, 2016.

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  1. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    I am not sure why I am even posting on here. I have pretty much resolved that I am done and am going to end things soon. I have always taken relationship break-ups very hard and succumb to severe depression when they end. My girlfriend left me a month ago. We were together for 3.5 years. I have gradually becoming increasingly depressed. I get worse and worse every single day. Every second seems like an hour, every hour like a day. I can't function anymore. I don't care anymore. I am completely consumed by pain. There is no way out of this except to end the suffering.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, you sound like you are in a deep depressive episode, I think you should reach out for help from a professional. Anti depressants and therapy can work wonders, I hope you realise you CAN and WILL get better. I know break ups are very tough, you just gotta keep yourself safe now and try your best. We are here for you my friend :)
     
  3. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    Over the years I have been to many different psychologists and psychiatrists. I have been on many different medications. None of this has helped. I am currently seeing a psychologist and this has not helped.
     
  4. Fluffypingu

    Fluffypingu Safety and Support Chat Pro SF Supporter

    don't give up on life it does get better huge hugs
     
    Petal likes this.
  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling.

    I know you have tried already, but it's worth remembering not all therapists or psychiatrists work with every person, you sometimes have to try a few before the shoe fits. Same goes for medications...

    Please try to give it another chance!

    *hugs*
     
    Petal likes this.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi again, you need to tell your psychologist that what ever the approach you are doing now is not helpful and hopefully they can mix things up and try something, please never give up on yourself, you are worth more than you give yourself credit for. please try and stay strong and use distractions all the time to take your mind off the break ups etc... please keep us updated =)
     
  7. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    I've tried getting out and doing things. I have even gone out with other women. All this has only made things worse. I no longer feel this world is for me. I have accepted my fate. I made one last ditch effort to get my ex back and am waiting on her response, which will come in the next few days. But who am I kidding, she will probably hate me even more.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hope you do not harm yourself, sorry for everything you are going through, at least you have SF as an outlet :) A healthy outlet :) Keep distracting yourself whether it be reading or watch shows etc... keep your mind occupied, that will help :)
     
  9. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    I have been getting worse. Friends and family are abandoning me. I am getting closer and closer. I have letters written, things in order. My plans are in place. I know most will not understand but my ex girlfriend was the one. I cannot go on without her. She won't even acknowledge me now. I just want the unrelenting pain to end.
     
  10. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    There is no such thing as "The one" there are people who are compatible and people who are not. My girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. It's not the end, I wasn't able to sleep for more than two or three hours a night even with multiple medications for sleep, for about the whole month of February, and I lost eleven pounds because I didn't have an appetite. Rejection sucks but it isn't the end. The reason that you don't see the good in anything is because you don't see the good in you. Treat yourself with kindness, you've just had a hard time, you deserve to feel better.
     
  11. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    When I imagine her with someone else, which is nonstop, it absolutely destroys me and makes me want to die.
     
  12. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    I had suffered from thoughts like that too. What makes those thoughts so annoying is because you still care about her, so stop giving a shit! Like for instance my girlfriend could be with ten guys right now and it wouldn't bother me in the least. She's insignificant to my life, like I don't care about her, we are different, she's just a person now. If I imagine her having sex with someone else or whatever, I'd probably feel sorry for that guy, if anything.
     
  13. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    How were you able to make that switch to not caring? All I want to do is pour my heart out to her and convince her to come back.
     
  14. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    It sounds corny but I actually just looked up on google "How to love yourself" and "How to forgive yourself." and I read a bunch of articles on that. When you learn how to love yourself - and I'm still working on it - you see things differently. After doing that I was able to concentrate better - much better - and do things I love to do, which right now is programming. I'm not looking for a relationship, I still need to work on me. I feel comfortable now even though I'm mostly alone, I'm productive.
     
  15. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    I have been looking at things like that for a while but i feel like I am just in way too deep. I feel like my life really is gone. It is so much easier to just give up now and cash it in. To me, it really appears to be the only option. To keep putting it offis just prolonging the pain.
     
  16. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    In order to have it work you have to really want to love yourself. For me I just wanted to try it. To see what its like.
     
  17. AJE

    AJE Well-Known Member


    Hi
    I too am going through what u are, only today thinking of another man with her made me feel physically sick.
    I may have a chance with my wife but I'm on bail as she falsely accused me of hitting her.
    I can't contact her in any way or I'll get locked up.
    It's been 2 months now & it's excruciatingly painful not being able to just converse with her.
    To top it all I've just received a letter to say the trial has been put back but they havnt got a date yet.
    This could go on for weeks !
    I sympathise greatly with u.
    There is such a thing as "the one"
    Be strong, it's not easy but hang in there.
     
  18. duke_winchester

    duke_winchester Well-Known Member

    Well I will try to hold off for tonight. I took some Benadryl so hopefully it will kick in soon and I will escape this hell for a few hours. I am a weak person. I can't find any motivation to function no matter where I search. Thoughts of her are constantly running through my head. It's almost as if I really don't even want to try anymore. I feel no hope. My only hope is knowing that there is the escape of death.
     
    AJE likes this.
  19. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    If you don't love yourself, the things you love will destroy you. Could be booze, could be Star Trek, could be a woman.
     
  20. AJE

    AJE Well-Known Member

    I feel for u, I know how bad this can make life appear.
    I too have a similar outlook, I know there is an escape route & sometimes it seems the only way.
    I'm still here but for how much longer only time will tell.
    I wish u luck & strength.
     
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