Basicallywoke up in a panic this morning. I can'tget out of bed. I feel like I need to end this pain ASAP. I gave myself false hope last night by reading all these stupid articles on how to get your ex back, believing it is possible if i just leave her alone completely for a while. This mornibg I realized I was just being stupid in believing this and am back to planning my end.
I am done
- Thread starter duke_winchester
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Hi
I too did all that, I spent money on downloading things to read & put into practice.
My problem being I can't contact my wife as I'm on bail.
It's been 2 months of not hearing from her & it's killing me.
We may still have a chance I don't know but I have plans in the back of my mind if it gets too much.
I've been counting down the days till the trial then I get a letter to say it's being put back but they can't say when.
It's like a mental torture but the courts don't care, to them I'm just another statistic, they don't think of the human side & the emotional turmoil it causes.
Right now I'm just waiting to see what to do, it's getting too much at times & I really don't know how much more I can handle right now.
All I can suggest is give it time but as we all know that's the hardest part.
I think it is true to give her a bit of space but let her know you're there for her.
It's horrible my friend but if I can last 2 months anyone can, I'm not strong at all but take each day at a time.
I try to keep busy but admit I drink most nights to help me fall asleep.
I'm on Prozac to help cheer me up & it's sort of working I think but still most days are hard.
Be strong & do whatever u have to do to keep yourself busy, it's not easy but do whatever u can to get by each day.
Who knows, it may all work out for u with her, that's what I'm hoping for with my wife.
Take care & look after yourself.
Been there so many times. I know it seems like it will never get any better at the time but I am living proof it does. I'm not saying you will never feel like this again, I'm not saying you will either.
Maybe try making deals with yourself, give it another month. And when you reach that goal, do it again. I know they say take it one day at a time, but sometimes we need to make longer term goals to keep us focused on the bigger picture of life. Everyone's different.
I am sorry you are feeling so much pain.
Maybe try making deals with yourself, give it another month. And when you reach that goal, do it again. I know they say take it one day at a time, but sometimes we need to make longer term goals to keep us focused on the bigger picture of life. Everyone's different.
I am sorry you are feeling so much pain.
I know, it's like a living nightmare!
When I think back to 2 months ago when this all started I would never of dreamt I could last this long but I did,
I take one day at a time & if I'm feeling particularly bad I try to distract myself & if that doesn't work I have a drink, not ideal I know but it helps me.
I have no idea if I'll get through this but I'm still here, I'm on medication & going to see a counsellor once a week but what strangely gives me comfort is knowing I have an escape to this pain if I really can't take anymore.
Take each hour as it comes, do little things to pass the time, I'm here to talk if that helps.
I've never felt this bad before in my life but I'm still here for now.
When I think back to 2 months ago when this all started I would never of dreamt I could last this long but I did,
I take one day at a time & if I'm feeling particularly bad I try to distract myself & if that doesn't work I have a drink, not ideal I know but it helps me.
I have no idea if I'll get through this but I'm still here, I'm on medication & going to see a counsellor once a week but what strangely gives me comfort is knowing I have an escape to this pain if I really can't take anymore.
Take each hour as it comes, do little things to pass the time, I'm here to talk if that helps.
I've never felt this bad before in my life but I'm still here for now.
I appreciate the input. I know it sounds cliche but I really do feel I cannot live without her. And while some of what I read online gave me hope for getting her back, how likely is that really? Seriously. I feel like I just need to accept I have lost the love of my life forever and be done with life because all I ever wanted out of life was to find that special someone and be with them.
I share in your experiences and take to heart what you are saying. I am glad you are here, still reaching for help. People have told me that one way of getting over lost love is to be strong in "loving yourself." Now, I still am not sure how to do that after much therapy and research, but logically it makes sense as a way of moving on. I can say that time has healed for most of my crises, but I myself am like you; still processing through a broken love. I want to let you know it is possible to eventually push through, even if only at slow stages at a time. Hang in there- find something that gives you a grin at least once a day.
I understand that frame of mind.....I have it right now myself looking at my prospects for "living, laughing, and loving." What I am doing is making a list of proactive things to do or try before taking that last action. We have nothing to lose if our minds are made up. Have you considered the impact on others, or are you indifferent at this point? I know about making the "pro's and con's" list of non-existence.....done that many times as you probably have, too. I tell my psychologist, "I do not know how I am still here", but I have been saying that for a year and I have had both ups and downs in that time. I am going on three years over losing my soulmate in a divorce, but somehow I get through it. Keep up the good fight. If you can, consider a new job, a new location, a volunteer cause....just something to validate your self-worth. Hang in there.
I understand how u feel, I feel the same about my wife, I'm still here but I really don't want to be.
Just thinking of ending it makes me feel better but I'm not sure if I could ever do it.
Like u I don't want a life without the love of my life.
It's downright painful & hard but I am still here.
Keep strong & look after yourself.
I appreciate the responses but you guys dont have to keep responding. I've just lost anyone around me to talk to. But it is my fault. I am stuck in a hole that i only feel i can get out of if i can work it out with my ex. I keep grasping for any signs of hope for that. No one wants to listen to me talk about my ex though. Everyone is pissed. Truth is that really I do just want to give up then. I dont want to go through this anymore. Im tired. I dont want to be part of this life anymore.
Yes, sometimes I feel like I am the only one that can myself, too. I am pushing to move on past my soulmate also, and sometimes I am not sure if I can. A therapist told me once that "you will always love her"....I was not sure what to make of that. I agree that family and friends get tired of the story- it is just that they do not have to whole picture, and they do not know how to help. I think people want to be very careful about not giving false hope to us. Yes, we are tired. I told a former friend about my state of mind today, but she could relate to it so she wants to help me. Maybe there is someone who you can meet or seek services from to keep you from staying in the hole.
I think it is good that you realize it may be time to move on.....that is easy to say, but I have (and still am) suffering through the same "stages of grief." Talk therapy has not been successful with me either, especially the "tough love" approach about your problems being your choices. I do not know how long you have been apart, or if you two even communicate.....that is your private affair....but maybe you are getting mixed signals from your ex that keep you in a rut from moving forward???
duke_winchester, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. 
*
It sure sounds like this girl meant the world to you. That raises an interesting question in my mind: How can any one person be the whole shebang for someone else? That's a lot to expect of them; that's a lot to be to someone else. Having a variety of sources for company and interests makes us more dynamic ourselves.
Maybe, whether or not things get back to where they were with this one girl, it's time to diversify your activities, friends, interests. That doesn't mean that right now you give up on the possibility that things might work out with her. It just means that while things settle down one way or the other, you fill your time with pleasant and rewarding "different" things for now. It can actually only help you, no matter how things go with this one girl. If things work out, you have more friends and things to do them with - and you can share those with her. If things don't work out, you are not sitting alone now and stewing over the past. Stewing over things that we cannot change often makes us bitter...and bitterness generally doesn't make us fun to be with.
No one will ever "replace" someone we have cared about. I imagine there is a spot in our hearts forever if we have really truly cared. We don't need to weigh ourselves down with the past and "what if this?" or "what if that?" Those things just tangle up our feelings and thinking.
When a relationship is truly over, we can sit and mire ourselves in our sadness, or we can think of the good times and what made them good - and then seek someone else who offers all that and more.
It sounds as if your sorrow is turning into anger that you are perhaps mis-directing at your mother and sister. I mean, sure they might have done something that upset you, but I don't think most of the anger and hurt is about them, it's about how helpless and hurt you feel because of this girl.
I believe that you have more to offer the world than just pining after one person. It's healthy to grieve. It's not healthy to give that one relationship "life and death" power over the rest of our lives. I hope you choose life. I hope that bit by bit, the sorrow settles down, and then you will join in on new things to at least fill your time happily, and maybe even meet and go with other girls.
Be safe!
* It sure sounds like this girl meant the world to you. That raises an interesting question in my mind: How can any one person be the whole shebang for someone else? That's a lot to expect of them; that's a lot to be to someone else. Having a variety of sources for company and interests makes us more dynamic ourselves.
Maybe, whether or not things get back to where they were with this one girl, it's time to diversify your activities, friends, interests. That doesn't mean that right now you give up on the possibility that things might work out with her. It just means that while things settle down one way or the other, you fill your time with pleasant and rewarding "different" things for now. It can actually only help you, no matter how things go with this one girl. If things work out, you have more friends and things to do them with - and you can share those with her. If things don't work out, you are not sitting alone now and stewing over the past. Stewing over things that we cannot change often makes us bitter...and bitterness generally doesn't make us fun to be with.
No one will ever "replace" someone we have cared about. I imagine there is a spot in our hearts forever if we have really truly cared. We don't need to weigh ourselves down with the past and "what if this?" or "what if that?" Those things just tangle up our feelings and thinking.
When a relationship is truly over, we can sit and mire ourselves in our sadness, or we can think of the good times and what made them good - and then seek someone else who offers all that and more.
It sounds as if your sorrow is turning into anger that you are perhaps mis-directing at your mother and sister. I mean, sure they might have done something that upset you, but I don't think most of the anger and hurt is about them, it's about how helpless and hurt you feel because of this girl.
I believe that you have more to offer the world than just pining after one person. It's healthy to grieve. It's not healthy to give that one relationship "life and death" power over the rest of our lives. I hope you choose life. I hope that bit by bit, the sorrow settles down, and then you will join in on new things to at least fill your time happily, and maybe even meet and go with other girls.
Be safe!
The anger directed at my family and friends stems from them not seeming to understand as well as probably an attempt to push them away as I get more deeply depressed and more determined to leave this life. I am sure it sounds really messed up from the outside, but it has almost become like a goal at this point to end it. I just need to build a little more determination to go through with it.
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