I can't do this anymore. I can't live with my inlaws anymore. I am tired of living below the poverty line. I am tired of hurting so bad all the time. I am tired of memories and flashbacks, I am tired of it all. I don't want to hang in just one more day. Every day I have been taking more and more pills to sleep the day away. If I don't kill myself on purpose soon, it will be bound to happen by accedent with taking to many sleeping pills to sleep the day away. Everyday the option of dying is looking better and better. I can't cut deep enough or enough right now. I can burn myself bad enough or enough times. I really do try and see the good things in my life but I can't. I have no privacy, I am tired about hearing about my daughters temper from my inlaws or her mouth(she has ADHD, a LD and an impulse control problem) I am tired of trying to explain we are working with the professionals to help her and that it is a disability. I am tired of not being able to look at them and say I AM SICK. You can't see it but I am. I tried years ago they just don't get it. I hate my life. I don't want to hang in anymore. I don't want to see if things will be better tomorrow. THEY WON'T I will still wake up in this shit hole that is mylife. With my memories, and thought and self loathing. And it is all my fault we are where we are because I can't hold down a job. I don't want to live anymore. I never want to leave my room. Frig my husband wouldn't even let me shower unless he was in there to make sure I didn't kill myself in the bathroom. I am not going to tell him where my stash of meds and razors are. I won't go back to the hospital what is the point all they do is throw meds at you and see you for like five mins in the morning and declare you well enough to go home in 4 weeks sooner if you play the game. I AM SO DONE!