I am feeling like wanting to let go

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cinZamurai, Nov 7, 2008.

  1. cinZamurai

    cinZamurai Well-Known Member

    walls are all around me, closing in to a claustrophobic space.
    down drops happy people, dancing cheering and stomping on me.

    My ribs cracks, I get no air and there is no where to run or hide

    My mouth makes no sounds
    silent scream, its inside
    it makes no imprint on the outside, they can not hear me

    I am overdue, long overdue
    I got the ticket here, I had it all this time

    I just waited for the right time

    I have been foolish
    death can be at my command
    just like that

    And I don't have to wait


    The string from me to my family and friends keeps me in this world.

    Why oh why are we connected?

    I dare not live

    still I refuse to let you suffer for my fear

    so I suffer silently instead

    every day until I can find a way to let go easy

    until my body carry me no more

    disgraceful total defeat
    the pain carried on to the once I truly love and respect

    I can not live and I can not die!
    What the fuck do I do?

    why do I have to be a martyr? why must I live?