I am feeling suicidal..again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DragonSong, Oct 17, 2012.

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  1. DragonSong

    DragonSong Well-Known Member

    sighs...things had been going well for me for awhile....then we move back to our home state and its starting all over again...things are much worse now thou...instead of family wanting us back home and coming to see us now they ignore us and dont talk to us....I cant get no help with a place to live so we are living in a motel...I had to part with my animals and alot of our things..which I dont care about our things but my animals were a part of my family and my mother made us get rid of them or she would not help us...but when we did she would not help us...(she was going to allow us to stay with her for a few months)....well things are not going well...our truck is about to quit....cant get no help for medicaid cause his income is to high ....so no meds....should have stayed in VA where just before we moved we got approved for medicaid finally....only cause he was out of work...aaarggh.....my moods are really crappy...I am lost and confused..lonely and empty......I have nothing else to give...I cant pick myself up again and again...I have lost my strength....I jsut want to die and get it over with....I dont care of the consequences anymore....things will be much better without me here...I have helped lots of others out with things and I cant help my self or my family ....so what is my purpose anyways....there is none....I am done.....I cant keep going forward when there is nothing left to go forward to.....I will be happier someplace else...in the dark void of the hereafter...fitting for me...
     
  2. alyssaswoon

    alyssaswoon Well-Known Member

    A bit over a year ago now I lost pretty much everything. I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, moved back with my parents, lost my job and he got to keep my two cats and my dog (weren't allowed in my parents house). I thought it would never stop hurting, ever. What kept me here was the thought of, "maybe tomorrow will be better", because you really don't know what can happen, your life can change in a day. If you can make it through each day, that's a big step. Think in baby steps, make it until tomorrow, keep your head up and remember there's people who have been in your situation, and people who feel as completely lost as you may feel. I've been there and back again and yet here I sit, still depressed a lot of the time, but working on it.
     
  3. DragonSong

    DragonSong Well-Known Member

    things are no different...I cant even think straitng anymore...I cant sleep cant eat cant think...cant do notign...I've had it up to my ears....all that I want to do is just slip away...I've tried talking to people and they just make me feel worse..I cant do anythign right anymore...this sisnt the first time I've lost everything...but I am sick of going through it over and over..I'm tired of my family using me and throwing me out when there done..Im tired of being stepped on and told I aint no good and cant do anhythign right...I just want ot die...I'm to old to play games with hetm ....
     
  4. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    It's hard when family disappoints you. but you can't always count on others unfotunately.

    I'm so sorry you had to part with your pets. That is hard, the rest of the stuff, can always be replaced, or done without. You will not be happier in the hereafter. Either there will be nothing, or you could find yourself in a far, far worse place than you are now.

    It's hard starting over. We are in the process of doing it ourselves. We had to lose our home ~ just too expensive. But I'm trying to put a positive spin on it. I've lost or had to give everything up before, and our families sure weren't any help. But, you get through it. You just have to believe that better days are ahead.

    Most cities have free or sliding scale fee clinics. If you need to seek help, then please do so. Giving up won't make you happier, maybe you are feeling that you have control over nothing right now, but sometimes just trying to take small steps, taking some amounts of control back, can help. Just take one step at a time, because it is worth it, life is worth it. A life in transition, even when it's tough, is always better than nothing at all.
     
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