i am going back to rehaab, hopefull tomorrow

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by theleastofthese, May 13, 2008.

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  1. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i cant wait to get started on a better life. pray for me, i need god's help

    please don't leave me alone until i go i am really afraid
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    I hope you find the help and support that you need and deserve. You'll be in my thoughts x
  3. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, hun. Take care!! :hug:
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. We'll be here when you return. If you ever need me, contact me anytime. Take care, sweetie. :hug:
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you'll never be alone. you have us.
    i'm glad you are going back for some help.
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I went there for five days, it was all the agency would pay for. I threw a fit and yelled at my daughter when I came home after five days and the house was a wreck. I hurt my daughter's feelings very badly and don't know if I can ever take back or heal the hurt I caused her. Seems like being sober isn't all that different from being drunk, just more aware of the hurt I cause the ones I love. :sad:

    THo I was only there for five days I came home sober and full of hope and now I've shredded that hope. I am no longer tempted to drink but have thought of nothing but suicide since coming home. This isn't a home, it's just a toxic waste dump that I occupy while hurting those I love. :sad:

    Drunk or sober aren't the options anymore. Dead or alive - do I cause more hurt while I'm living or after I'm dead? That's what I cannot decide.
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    welcome back. we all make mistakes, i'm sure if you apologize she will try and meet you half way. is it possible to forgive yourself, first, even before you talk to her? we're all human...
  8. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    but some of us feel like we're less than human...:sad: THis is not by far the first time I've screamed at her. I know better, I just don't do it.:sad:
  9. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    My thoughts are with you. Shamefully as I go down the road you are trying to find your way back from.
    Good luck hun :hug:
  10. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you can only do your best. that's all. nothing more and nothing less. if you like you can start your apology to her with "i know better, and i'm sorry"....

    but in the meantime, i want you to ask yourself why you are making the choice to continue to beat yourself up over this. what does it feed in *you* to judge yourself so harshly. 'cos in the end you have to fix that first, before you can work on your relationship with your daughter.
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