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I am going to die soon....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pioneer, Aug 14, 2011.

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  1. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    That thought is becoming a reality. My life is ending and I am suffering in the end. My mind is being destroyed and my body along with it. I wish for death everyday only to be disappointed to wake up in the mornings. My suicide is always on my mind, it won't leave me alone. Even now I am trying my best to sleep but I sleep xxx next to my chest, waiting for that one moment of insanity. I just want to sleep but my head hurts so much and my mind is in turmoil. I'm 24 years old with a college degree and I'm at the end of my life. I feel that my whole short life was wasted. All I can think about is my cousin and my aunt who were killed a year ago and how much I wish I could trade them places. I don't know if I'll wake up this time, my head is relentless tonight.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2011
  2. magillygutty

    magillygutty Member

    Whats your situation?
  3. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I've been dealing with these suicidal thoughts for over a decade now. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm out of resources to handle this. And my head is hurting so much from this, the pain is getting umbearable. I just wish I could sleep now, for good.
  4. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I'm probably gonna down these asprin until my head stops hurting. I need to sleep or I will die tonight. I can't stand these headaches, all my life I've had them. I just want to sleep.
  5. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Do you not have any way of getting to a doctor and getting medication to help control those headaches? I would feel the exact same way if I was dealing with that everyday. That is a tremendous amount of pain to have to deal with. If your taking over the counter medication, you might try exedrin migraine tablets instead of aspirin. It has aspirin in it also, but the combination of that and caffeine & acetaminophen, really seems to do the trick. If you can go to the doctor, ask for ambien, that sleeping pill will knock you out in minutes, but you have to lay down right after you take it.

    Have you had any tests to explore the reason behind these headaches?? If you have insurance, you should have your doctor send you to a neurologist.

    These problems are treatable, don't give your life up when there is a way to get the help you need. If you can't afford to go to the doctor, see if there are any clinics around that take you in based on low income status, they will treat you for free and give you medications that you need. If your not working, there are other options to get help with medical needs too.
  6. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member


    I am sorry you are hurting so much, please don't down the aspirin, excess aspirin will make you sick and the hurling would worsen your headache. Do you have anything else you can take for the headache and to help you sleep?

    I don't know your situation or whats brought you to this place, do you think you could stay and talk a bit? We are here and listening! I have found SF to be a great sanctuary when I am low and there are so many sincere caring people on here.

    Do you think you could ring your G.P. tomorrow and get some proper meds that will help with your headaches? Or call crisis line now or go to A&E? they'd be able to get you the right meds to end your headache and help you sleep a bit. Just from what you have said, you have been through so much, its understandable you're struggling... anyone would, so its no reflection on your character ok!

    I hope you manage to get some sleep.
    Please take care.
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Pioneer i'm sorry you're in so much pain...
    'cutipie' has good advice and i hope there's something the docs can do
    don't give up until you've tried all avenues ok
  8. If aspirin is not relieving your headache/migrane, then get to the doctor fast..Also let the doctor know that you are feeling suicidal.. :hug:
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Go to the ER or A&E and get some meds to help with the headache.. YOu will need someone to drive you because once they give you the shot you won't be able to drive.. See your GP tomorrow and ask him for some ImItrex..That will knock out the headaches but it does have side affects..Some people have tightness of the chest , feeling like you have lead legs and arms, Or a burning sensation under your fingernails..I've been on them for years and they work for me..I started out with the shots and then they backed off enough to take the pills..
  10. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I was able to sleep last night but I woke up to headaches. I really think there's something wrong with my head if I always have headaches and I'm suicidal. Maybe they're connected. And seeing a doctor really sucks because I don't have a set doctor and it will take months to get an appointment.
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Are there any 'walk in' clinics in your area where you don't need an appointment?
    or as stranger1 said go to ER asap..
    you shouldn't have to put up with headaches that often
  12. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    I suffer from headaches too and I understand how soul destroying pain in your head can be and that alone can make you depressed and suicidal.
    When my neurological problems were bad I was apparently begging to die (I don't remember as I was so out of it) I do remember the desperation as the very core of my being (my head) was in such agony.

    As a nurse I also know that headaches could be caused by any number of things, most are easily resolved with the right treatment. When your head is so sore everything seems harder and like too much effort BUT you need to try push through ok, you deserve to feel better and at the very least be given the right meds for the pain, they can help you feel better while you wait for tests.

    Please try ring your G.P. after hours if you have to and get an emergency contact tel no or go to A&E. People go to A&E for far less, so you have every right! They can help you and I promise the relief from the pain with the right treatment will be worth it, its hard to believe there is any way out now but please try give it a go so you can get the rest you deserve, no one deserves to suffer relentlessly.

    Take care and P.M. box always open!
  13. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Do you have a video camera or a tape recorder? I would check to see when you fall asleep if your snoring loud, or having any trouble breathing. It's possible that you could have sleep apnea and it's causing you to wake up with a headache. Your doctor could send you for a sleep study.
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