So it all started two days ago, I got home from our last hockey game of the year, losing in the semi finals. My parents were both incredibly disappointed with me and told me I wasn't cut out for hockey. This was such a blow, i felt worthless and wanted to kill myself right there in the changing room after the game. Such an important high school game, how could I have blown it? I spent the night walking around town during a horrendous snow storm. In the middle of it all I decided to seek shelter in the town bar, nearly deserted except for a thin figure in a long trench coat. Her brown curly locks flowed out from under her large brimmed, dark hat. She sat at a table all by herself, an empty glass sat in front of her as she nibbled at a bowl of mixed nuts. She turned and give me an inviting smile, her surprising tan skin, especially for winter, contrasted with her glistening smile. She asked me what a boy like myself was wondering around at this hour and I gave her a long winded story of my night. At that point we both realized the bar was totally empty and that the bartender was no where to be seen. I became to feel uneasy and a sense of urgency flooded my mind, that i needed to get home to my parents before I got snowed into the bar. Then i remembered what they had put me through, I did not feel as a worthy son, and they were not worthy parents. Fuck em all, I thought, they won't even notice I'm gone. I don't need em, I couldn't give a rats ass what happens to those assholes. <Mod edit: Abacus21: sexually explicit> Rachelle drove me home yesterday morning and gave me her number before dropping me off. I was so excited with my first sexual experience, it being so fucking amazing at that. I entered in the back door, both my parents still asleep, lazy fucks. I hung around my house that day, took a nap, went out to lunch, things had really turned around, I hadn't even though about the hockey game. I was surfing facebook when I got a message from my hockey teams group. They told me not to bother coming back to the team next year, or even school on Monday. The lose was "all my fucking fault" and I 'can't skate worth two shits". This is when I decided that my life had hit it's climax and there was no use living anymore. I have accomplished everything I wanted, my parents hate me and my friends have rejected me. So i slept on it, and this morning when I got up, I feel just as strongly, I no longer want to live. I gave Rachelle a call and told me I'm a 'fucking dumbass for not realizing that it was nothing more than a one night stand and good luck on getting laid again, fucking loser.' I've been contemplating ways of killing myself in the most gruesome and messy manner so my parents and friends have to witness the most horrific suicide ever. <Mod edit: Abacus21: methods> What do you guys think? any suggestions?