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I am going

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Zodi, Feb 16, 2008.

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  1. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    Tonight is the night.

    It is my time to go. My soulmate has found someone whom he has known for less than two months.

    I can't stand this pain anymore.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    zodi, don't do it. can you get somewhere safe? i know the pain is too much right now, but i promise you that if you stick around you will ever so slowly start to heal.

  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    please don't do it hun, hang in there :hug:
  4. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    They are getting married.

    I have to go. I can't deal with this.

    Thank you to everyone that tried to help.
  5. D3ath

    D3ath Well-Known Member

    Zodi :(

    I'm SO sorry to hear that :(. I know the feeling maybe not exactly but my soulmate is also with some one else, the idea of her with some one else like that drives me crazy. So i'll completely understand whatever decision you take.


    I dunno what to say to help.. I know what you want,. what you need just hold in there. Dont do anything inrational or something you'll regret.

    Give it some time.
  6. Shyfear

    Shyfear Well-Known Member

    Please don't do it! I understand that you are feeling terrible, but please try to get somewhere safe!
    How long have you known about them? It could be possible that you are hysterical and angry. and that may be why you're considering suicide. Please try to calm down and talk to us. Tell us more, we'll listen. We want you to live, we dont want you to do anything that you'll regret.

    Please stay.. I love you <3
  7. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Please... dont do it:sad:
  8. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    I am ok for the time being. I really can't believe he would do that. Just two months ago he told me he would spend Christmas with me someday. He bought be a scalped Wii for $450.00 for Christmas. He told me he loved me.

    Now I get the "things change" and "if i wanted to be with you, wouldn't I have done that by now?". He always told me that he had to get his life in order first. He is an alcoholic and is going through recovery. He now denies ever saying any of that and I reminded him it was in chat and emails so he can't deny it.

    How can someone possibly ask another to marry them after less than two months?
  9. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    People change. Keep on trying to find someone who truely understands and loves you. Once you find that one person you´ll totally forget about him.
  10. bitter

    bitter Guest

    I will not say that I know just how you feel because that impossible for me to know. What I will say is I can relate with that kind of problem.

    I was living with a wonderful woman (she is still wonderful) and she told me she loved me, we had even picked out the place we were going to get married. She had planned a trip to go see family months earlier and so I told her to go and visit take a short brake and she did. The first night there she text me that she missed me and she loved me and then nothing else for 5 days. When she returned she told me that not only did she think we should take a break but that we where not meant for each other. I had just ordered her ring the day before and now she wanted me not just out of her place but out of her life.

    Needless to say I was destroyed. Everyone told me give it time it will get better but it didn't seem to in fact as time went on it got worse. Then one night in Oct. it became to much and so I washed a bottle of pills down with a fifth of rum to finish off my day. Well someone found me before I could make my escape and I ended up right back here.

    If there is a point to this I would tell you that you need to really look at yourself not him and decide if he really was the one that you wanted for you. If he could walk away that easily was he really the right one? The worst thing about loving someone so much is that it blinds you and you can't see the signs you would normally. Yes it hurts more then anything else that I have every had to deal with for sure, and it is a very deep wound that may never completely heal. But you have to look at yourself and make sure that you know you did all that you could and if you know you did (which it sounds like you did) then you have to remember you can't make someone else feel something for you they have to feel it.

    To me it sounds like he is the one that is troubled not you, and if he is already marrying someone else in just two months then he is jumping into something without looking and most likely will fail at this attempt. Don't let his actions or lack of actions drag you down with him.

    I know it hurts and it is going to for some time no matter what anyone else says. But you need to just step back for a moment and look at yourself and realize you didn't do anything wrong here, so why are you going to hurt yourself for something that wasn't your fault. As stupid as this will sound that terrible pain that you are feeling right now is better then feeling nothing, the pain is telling you that you are still alive and at least you can still feel something. Yeah it sucks but you know this life is never easy, it is just one test after another. So don't give up just yet.
  11. ih8orfans

    ih8orfans Member

    Don't put off something as major as this, if you force it away, it's gonna come back and bite you, bigger and nastier next time around.
  12. dolphin

    dolphin Member

    I understand that a separation from a loved one is like a grieving process and I can understand you.

    but when you wrote that he is an alcoholic, oh god, I mean wait until the girl is marrying have enough of him. Nobody wants to live with an alcoholic, it is a nightmare.

    we always think someone is a soulmate until we met the one.

    hang in there sweetie, he is not worth it!
  13. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    Funny thing. I can't cry. I guess I am still caught in this disbelief that I have not accepted this.

    He is going to end up getting hurt himself. She has lied.
  14. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    I am crying now. I can't stand this pain.

    I can never trust anyone again.
  15. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    I have to go. There is no way I will ever trust anyone again. I will be alone and dead is better than that.
  16. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please Zodi, don't kill yourself. No one and I mean no one is worth killing yourself over. You will find another soulmate eventually. Who says that we can only have one soulmate anyway? I went through a rough break up a few years ago, but eventually I moved on and found someone new. You can do it too. Hang in there hun.
  17. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    I can't.
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sure you can. :hug:
  19. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    It is not just that. I trusted him with myself. He knows more about me than anyone.

    I cannot do that again.

    I looked though emails and it was three weeks.
  20. bitter

    bitter Guest

    As hard as it is to believe right now someone will come along that will prove to you that they can be trusted. And over time you will see this and be able to start to trust and share with them again.

    I know it doesn't feel like that right now, it just hurts. But you have to believe that allot of us have been threw something that is similar and though we may not understand all of what you are feeling we can tell you are hurting.

    You can trust that the people here want to help you. Do what ever you have to do to get threw this, but you need to hang on and know that the people here want you to stay them.
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