I am going

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bitter

#22
Yes you can trust someone again whether you believe that or not, but you have to be alive to find that out.

Yes I know that the pain is overwhelming and it's hard to breath, think, move, or even care. You feel like you are all alone and no one else will every understand you the way you want them too, am I some what close?

I know words are just that and they don't seem like they can make a difference, and they do very little to stop the pain. But you need to really consider you choice carefully because that gives you no second chances. Is it really going to put you at peace can you be 100% sure that is the case. Could it worse then what you are dealing with now, how can you be sure.

We all have our own beliefs and I don't need to know what your are that is for you. Just think about something for a moment if you will please.

Look at all the people that are trying to help you here, do you really think that they don't care about you? We want to help you get threw this some how way shape or form. I know it isn't going to be easy nothing ever is, but if you give us a chance will we do all that we can to help you.

When things seem to be the darkest just look harder it is there somewhere you just have to look for it, there is a glimmer of light somewhere just keep looking.
 

Zodi

Anitiquities Friend
#23
I know everyone is trying to help but I am so despondent right now.

I know things aren't going to get better. It will just be the same thing another time.
 

Zodi

Anitiquities Friend
#27
I drank a bottle of nyquil last night and tried to end it with means I won't mention.

Needless to say, mother nature intervened and I am still here. I tried..god, i tried. I had a breakdown when it wouldn't work.
 

A_pixie

Well-Known Member
#28
You've had one major shock to the system, are you around family members? Friends? Do they know this has happened to you?

It's easy to remember the good times in a breakup but by the sounds of this guy there must have been so much that annoyed you about him.

Try to remember the bad times and you will get through this, you will realize what kind of a person he was in time.

Please don't do it, nobody on Earth is worth it.
 
B

bitter

#29
when i tried to slip away it to was intervened by someone and looking back on that now it was for a reason.

You should realize yours was for a reason as well. You are suppose to be here. In time it will show itself as to way.

Keep fighting find a reason too.
 

Zodi

Anitiquities Friend
#30
No..I hope tonight is better.

In a moment of despiration last night, I messaged him for help and then logged out. He did respond with this:

Thank goodness for high winds.

You have to understand that I was dealing with issues myself. I am sorry I got you involved in them. I can't change that now.

I do hope you will get to meetings on a regular basis. Find one that suits you. They are out there. You can have a happy life once you deal with all the bad stuff that your mother and life did to you. There is always hope.



Not only was he my soulmate, he was my best friend. We shared everything about each other, things no one else knows.

How, in 2 months time could things change this drastically?
 
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Zodi

Anitiquities Friend
#31
Fuck...its snowing


What I am listening to now:


You made a promise
That you’d never desert me
So where are you now
You built me up
Then you left me standing all alone
Lost in the crowd

My friends all say to forget you
I should but why do I hurt so

No one wins when the love is lost
You turned your back on me
When I needed you most of all
No one wins when love takes a fall
How could you let me down
I needed you most of all

Maybe I should learn to live life without you
Find someone new
But something happens deep inside when our eyes meet
I know you feel it too

Don’t try and say you’re happy without me
Don’t say you don’t miss my love, boy

No one wins when the love is lost
You turned your back on me
When I needed you most of all
No one wins when love takes a fall
How could you let me down
I needed you most of all

Maybe we can find a way
To bring back all the yesterdays
Maybe we can find the path
It’s not too late to save the love
Save the love we had

Most of all

No one wins when the love is lost
You turned your back on me
When I needed you most of all
No one wins when love takes a fall
How could you let me down
I needed you most of all
 
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Daze&Confused

Antiquitie's Friend
#32
I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, try and find some way to cope, i know the pain feels unbearable. And i know you think ending it is the right decision, i've been so low sometimes i can barely move, but i promise, it will ease with time. I know it's not original, but it's true.

Take care
 

Zodi

Anitiquities Friend
#33
No..he was my soulmate. Yeah, he did things that were bad but so did I.

There is no one else for me.

And you know..I loved him for him. He has/had faults and I loved him anyway. I have/had faults and he did love me up until a few weeks ago.

I never cared about his money or his looks. He is not the most attractive person on the outside. But I loved him for what was inside.

When I was going through bad financial times, he gave me money...and I paid that back to him.

I can't make any logical sense out of this.

One can't cope with something that defies any explaination.

I hope it stops snowing...I called off work for this.
 
B

bitter

#34
i really do understand how it feels to want someone so bad that you ache. it happened to me 8 months ago now but i still remember the hurt. i also can relate you wanting an answer as to why, when everything was going so good why did it just chance without warning, what happened?

the answer to that you may never know, i know that isn't what you want to here right now. just remember that you are not the one that changed you are not the one that stopped loving. though it doesn't help you much with the hurt you have to realize that you are still someone that can love and given time someone else will see that in you.

that feeling you had when you looked into his eyes has to be felt by both people you can't make him feel it. if he had felt that way he wouldn't have done this to you. it really is his fault not yours, so you shouldn't be the one that has to quit.

find anything a memory from the past a time when you where happy before you meet him and start there and work threw this. we all know that it is the hardest thing you will have to do, but find a way to do it. don't let him win if he was worth it you would be in the pain your in now.
 

Zodi

Anitiquities Friend
#35
Just an update...I am doing better.

Sometimes help can come from odd places. I am an avid World of Warcraft player and one of my guildmates has really helped me.

I just have to learn to expand my friends to actual people instead of virtual ones.

I tend to isolate myself and live in the computer world and that is not good. I am joining Parents Without Partners (I hope that will not be a meat market type of thing) and joined match.com..to make friends. I can't deal with any type of romantic ideas at the present time.

I came to the conclusion that it is his loss that he let me go. Make no bones about it, I would go back in a heartbeat with him though. That is what I have to get over now.
 
D

Dave_N

#36
I'm glad that you're doing better Zodi. I think that a support group would be great for you. It helps meeting people who are in a similar situation as you. Be safe. :hug:
 
B

bitter

#37
Good for you Zodi for realizing it is he that has lost out not you. Hope you make some new friends having others around to talk to and even get together with helps with the getting over it part. Best wishes to you.
 

Zodi

Anitiquities Friend
#39
Thanks.

I am still in love with the bastard.

I did notice something rather odd on the boards here. Anyone named Super_Dave raises a flag to me. Mods, if this poster's IP is from Ontario...ban him.
 
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