..I am gonna go now....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by transparent, Jul 6, 2009.

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  1. transparent

    transparent Well-Known Member

    The title is pretty clear, don't cha think.
    I am gonna step back from my life for a while. I can't promise that I wont commit suicide because I dont know that kind of infromation. That is the future and we are stuck in the here-and-now.
    I was planning to try and talk some of the very nice people here...but I can't. Like i have mentioned before, talking to others is hard for me no matter who they are.
    I know that this is probably not the best idea I have had, but I think I want to be alone...at least for a while. I might not be what I need, but it's what I want.
    I don't think I have anything left say.
    I am not a big fan of goodbye's ..
    ...so for now I will just say that..
    ..I will see you all later.

  2. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    Maybe we'll see each other again, somewhere different, somewhere better.

    Good luck to you, wherever you are going.
  3. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    SF will always be here<3

    :hug: with people ready to help
    when you're ready

    <3 Rachell
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Step back and take care of yourself Katt. We will be hear with open arms should you decide to come back. :hug:
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Transparent, I know you're very hyper at the moment as I was talking to you in chat. Please stay with someone you trust tonight. Don't make any big decisions while in that frame of mind. We all care about you and want the best for you, good luck hun :hug:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey Transparent sometimes loneliness and stepping back aren't the greatest ideas especially when your feeling down. Try sticking around here just to get you through rough spot okay. When you feel a little stronger then back off a bit if you want but people here get concerned about you so if you do go away keep in touch okay please let us know you are well.
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to see you go, but if you feel this is the right decision for you then i wish you luck in your future endeavours, and maybe we'll meet again.
  8. gitana

    gitana SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi, Katt,

    I completely understand. Talking to others is extremely difficult for me no matter what or who anybody is. I understand wanting to be alone, and being/feeling stuck.. I understand about stepping back from life..

    I am writing because I am concerned about you. I know you have to do what you think is or feels best to you. I am reaching out to you to let you know that I am glad that you are here.. I am glad that you are talking to us and I am glad that you are being honest with us. You will be greatly missed.. and just know that we are always here for you.. no matter what. We/I do not judge anybody but accept everyone here where they are at.. I can't speak for everyone here, but for the most part, I know that is why most of us are here.. because we hurt.. we have been there, we understand.. we care deeply about anybody who comes here and finds us here..

    For me, I won't accept anything without a fight.. yeah.. and I believe most people or all here won't either.. we are all at different levels here and we all have our many ups, if there is.. or feeling down.. yeah, even moderators are people and feel the same.. we are not beyond feeling depressed, hopelessness, etc.. at times.. speaking from my own experience..

    Katt, I am thinking, and I hope, really hope that you will hang on, and stay here, whether or not you write, respond, let us know how you are doing... My heart goes out deeply to you because I understand. I haven't been here for some time because I started shutting people out.. SF saved me when I first found this forum by accident.. many reasons.. it was difficult for me to really really take off that total mask, to let people know or not sure how to explain it to other people here.. I have been hurt deeply in my life to the extreme that this last year I didn't realize it, that I started shutting out people here who in my life, became my friends here and deeply cared for me. It scares me. I don't know how to accept that. I have never had that much in my life..

    I am here because I really care deeply. Hon, you have alot to say.. and yet, you don't have to say anything.. just be here, okay? give us a chance? Try not to shut people out and the ones that you made friends with here? You are extremely important.. and I know I haven't been here.. and you may think, yeah, words.. I know.. it isn't words..

    Several people here have expressed concerns too.. it is true.. when you are in the frame of mind that you are hon, you are not thinking clearly or straight.. please stay with someone you trust. As Mary, stated and others, here, who responded, care deeply about you, please allow us to help you through the rough spots. Of course, it is your choice, but we all are reaching out to you to let you know, yeah, it is scary.. and difficult.. we understand.. and we are here for you always.. I hope that you will give us a chance.. and be here for you.. the door is ALWAYS open.. sweetie.. you have alot to say.. you have a voice.. it just whatever has happened in your life, been lost for now, maybe? and finding your way back..Let us help you..

    We love you always.. You may ask, "Why?" Why do we care? Because I have been there and I know, it is a very difficult road to stay the course.. to allow others into one's life, to allow others to help, and more.. You don't have to say anything.. just be.. I have a difficult time extremely trusting people.. and I know many of us do here.. we have all been deeply hurt, destroyed, wounded deeply beyond words that we can express.. and so much more life has given us.. What is the point? Well, I don't have the answer.. except that at anytime, it is a choice, and a person can do what they may feel later.. Just not now.. It doesn't sound like you are in the right frame of mind.. thinking.. and I know.. I can only empathsize that there are people here I have found, who are open and trusting.. That is why we are here..

    Well, I am saying all this because I really do care.. and people here really care about you. It may be that you don't want anybody to care about you, but too late.. you have made an impact on people here. We are here because we care and want to reach out to you.. no matter the decision, if you feel you need to step away (I hope you reconsider, you can always, do that later, a day at a time) or just be here..

    ((((((((((((((((MANY HUGS, KATT!))))))))))))))))))))))))


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