I Am Growing Tired....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Godsdrummer, Aug 27, 2009.

  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Ok so people come to our forum, like I once did, not truly knowing what they want, but thinking they want to die. And really what they are wanting is for their pain and suffering to end.

    And so we offer support. Words of encouragement. Brainstorming ideas on how to maybe help a person out of a predicament.

    Often times, it helps.

    But it gets really frustrating when despite your best efforts, someone just won't take the advice or help offered. Because you know, they will finalize their actions.

    It gets so weary after awhile.

    But yet...I keep on trying because I know that (in my own selfish way) the more I try and help others, the more I am helping myself in my own situations.

    cause I don't want to die either.

    But I do grow tired. So many people have so much potential, yet they think they are in a place they can't get out of. If only they could view it from our perspective.

    Maybe I should have gone into the funeral business.
  2. busenbust

    busenbust Well-Known Member

    Sir, you are correct. (I did - in my own inimitable way - apologize to you in my response to your post in my thread. :oops: )
  3. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    I know how you feel, but it’s not really their fault. I firmly believe that every person is a result of their environments and since you can't change someone’s past or their genes, it’s going to be difficult to change someone’s outlook. If someone comes here fixed on suicide, they will suicide, regardless of what people like us say to them. Change one's self is a slow process, brought on with new experiences, and the person’s suffering is not likely to end without that change. I don’t think this place has any impact on the important things like changing someone’s outlook and personality, I think that that all has to come from experiences in the “real world”. All this place does is provide a nice dumping ground for negative emotions to make day to day lives more bearable and to make us feel less alone.

    Nothing in the long run.

    Take care,
  4. busenbust

    busenbust Well-Known Member

    ^^Nice post :thumbsUp:
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    And yet...this place was so much more to me. For me, it was more than just dumping out my trash, but you guys taught me how to get rid of that trash and start anew.
  6. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    I also used this place as a stepping stone but at the end of the day that decision was mine and I knew I needed things to change. I don’t think everyone who comes here looking for advice is quite ready to take that step.

    It’s a brave thing you’ve done Bill, knowing the risks, knowing you might fall; change is scary-even if it is for the better; I bet most people would much rather stay in their own comfort zone and waste away than take on the logical and sound advice offered here. I bet they pre-empt their failure even before they’ve tried!
  7. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    Some people think that it should be easy, that they shouldn't have to work for their happiness again. Until they see this is impossible, they won't accept help that means helping themselves a little.
  8. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    I couldn’t have put it better myself, but I often wonder if “normal” people see the things they do to keep themselves happy as “work”

    It seems to come so naturally to some and not naturally at all to others.
  9. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    The truth is, some people do get it easy. They are born into good lives, have amazing financial situations, and always get what they want to make them "happy". I feel that since they do not work for it though, they do not really see what Happiness really is. When you work for something, the reward is much greater then being given it. However, some people see how easy some have it, and want the same, so aren't willing to try for themselves. It's a real shame, but once understood, anyone can be helped. As long as they find the will to help themselves.
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    But even those that have it all are not necessarily happy. Because they have everything it leaves them nothing to challenge themselves for. They become bored and start feeling worthless themselves.
    And Rose, another excellent point. Too many here, where they are right now as horrible as it may be is their comfort zone. They are too tired to try right now. It would be easier to give it all up then to start the fight anew. So they stay in this "zone" holding on the best they can. Some come here because they battled for too long all alone. Then they see posts by others and see someone else understands. The list of why people cant change their outlook or feelings is never ending. But Bill I think it would be safe to say that all advice, support, care and loving that is given is so much appreciated by those that receive it.
    Many times I cant bring myself to come here. For the very reason you made this thread. I feel that others may think I'm not trying or that I'm not listening to what I've been told. And eventually they will start to get weary of hearing my tired old stories over and over. But those tired old stories took many years of horrible events to write. They are my stories and sometimes giving them up seems so scary. For many I think it is just so hard to see that things might get better if they try once again. For many the attempts to move forward may of brought them further back. But like I said, no matter what the situation, the efforts you make towards another member here is always greatly appreciated hun.
    So please dont give up on us yet (lol). You're lucky that you have the personal strength and stamina to keep plodding on Bill. But some others may be feeling safe right now in their "holding" pattern or zone they have found. And even if it feels like you're beating your head against the wall, keep reaching out. Use your experiences in life and from here to help maybe one other member find the same path your on. I know I personally always appreciate what you share with me. Thank you and please dont stop now.
  11. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Wow....that was a lot.

    I too worry that the steps I have taken to regain my life, may one day come to backfire on me.

    I have been fighting all of my life. So I guess why should today be any different.

    And...I really do take the AA approach to this. In AA, when we help a fellow alcoholic to recover, we are helping ourselves to stay sober.

    So when I reach out here, to help someone live, just another day....I feel, it helps me, in turn to do the same.

    Our motto should be, encouraging people, and holding on, one post at a time.
  12. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I actually like that!!! Do you get tokens for your every 100 posts? (lol)

    Bill please dont think you arent appreciated around here. You are. And I am one of your biggest "fans". I know it gets tiring always giving the same advice and sometimes you feel almost hypocritical but it does make a huge difference to atleast one other person in here. Sometimes people just dont know how or cant say thanks. On the days that you feel frustrated, take a breather and let others do the talking to and for you. You're one of the good guys Bill.
  13. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Thank you! :hug:
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    This place for me was a place to release some pain anger it was a place to get things out of my head and to get support when i needed it so badly. I appreciate everyone here because in their own way they help me to see where i am and where i need to be. The successes show me there is a way out like you Bill you struggled and are making it. I realize also i need to do some work although painful it is i need to listen to my T and understand he has my best interest here. Starting to trust a little at a time. I thank everyone here for thier patience and understanding and for never giving up and throwing me away. This place for alot of us is a place of safe haven Thank you