Let me share with you a classic example of my family trying to beat me down. I am due to go on a planned trip to S. Africa to meet someone that I been wanting to meet for 6 years. I can't afford to go there but Rudi is nice and is going to help pay my way to go. It would be a chance to get some much needed relief.
Read it from bottom up. Understand both Rudi and I are Christians. No offense to those of you who are gay or bisexual. The point is we have are share of problems too and those of you who are cutters may assist.
I am overweight due to a car accident. I got metal in both legs. Alex totally went overboard to tear me down. Good thing Rudi is a person of character.
Jonathan,
Heck, maybe I took it the wrong way and I don't want to stir things up between your family and you. Your family is keeping tabs on you and that's a good thing, isn't it? BUT they want you to go back to work and stop spunging,,, my question is then: Why don't they ask for forgiveness and repent of their ways? Why did your brother choose to be gay? Wasn't that an outcome of the way he was treated as a child? Not that I am blaming the circumstances because in the end YOU choose. Still it does have a huge impact. He faced his problems in a different way.
This is what I wrote to your brother after receiving his snail mail:
Ideal·Supplies <
[email protected]> wrote:
Hi Alex
Thank you for your kind letter. I only received it today. Jonathan will be
coming end of November for his visit to South Africa. We have decided to
extend the date because of what you said...he waited for his passport and I
need to save up some money for his tickets.
We've known each other since end of 2000 and I can't wait to finally meet
him. Despite what he had to go through in his life - he is still a great
guy and the Lord has magnificent plans for him.
I really want to spoil him and bless him. Yeah, maybe he will love it so
much and even stay here!! I don't mind at all. We will take loads of photos
and I will save it all on a cd/dvd for him to show off when he goes back
home... I will also keep you informed and up to date of the happenings and
let him phone you or Allison when he arrives here.
My details:
<mod edit: bunny - personal details>
Have a great day!
Rudi Haggard
This is what your brother wrote in reply to my email: I underline stuff in red that I didn't like very much...maybe his attitude, but like you said: he was just looking out for you.
Thank you for your kind reply.
Please only contact my sister if he needs emergency money or has had some unexpected issues with the law ?? or health issues (i.e. hospitalization...). Everybody in my family tells me to let Jonathan make his own decisions and developing this trait is more important that what the outcome may/may not be. (i.e. making dumb decisions are o.k. I guess). So, you don't have to inform us of anything. I think Jonathan would get upset if we were talking behind his back, you know.
Jonathan is well liked by children and is a good salesman. He has thus far missed his calling in life for that, in my opinion. I don't see him living in S. Africa, but yes, he definately needs a change from his daily routine. He's been living in Columbus since I was 12 yrs old or something and hasn't picked up much steam (improved financially).
What we want from Jonathan is sanity, to get back to work, etc. He has idle dreams of travelling which on others expense, which my father is upset by. I know you want to treat him and I honor and thank you for wishing to provide him with the best.
If he does make it down to S. Africa, please make sure he is aware of traffic conditions. He isn't the most allert these days and I know things are different on your end of the pond (Atlantic). I lived in England and know how dangerous the traffic can be for an American - literally life threatenting. (driving on opposite sides, roundabouts, high speed drivers (maniacs), rounding corners out of nowhere...literally unsafe drivers everywhere.)
Um, don't be alarmed when you see the layer-upon-layer of scars on his arms. He has hurt himself many times to "release pain", he says.
I gave him a luggage thingy on wheels with a pull-out handle and a little pair of binoculars for the plane trip and any wildlife he may encounter.
You do know he's a large fellow? He moves slow (even if this is true, SO WHAT!!) as a turtle sometimes, especially when having to get out of a chair or car...not that he's handicapped or anything. Just a "heads-up" (for your info.).
I hope he gets to see an elephant or giraffe or something. I know he would love a safari ride! Really!
Best wishes to you and your counterparts.
Yours,
Alex C. Ante
<mod edit: bunny - personal details>
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----- Original Message -----
From: Jonathan Ante
To: Rudi Haggard
Sent: Monday, August 07, 2006 6:53 PM
Subject: Forwarding the message Alex sent me. I trust you more than I do him. I just wanted you to be informed.
I did not insult him at all. I did not tell him not to let you visit him. I gave him Alison's phone number in case if you needed money in an emergency or were hospitalized for some reason. It was in your best interests. I did tell him about your scars and not to be alarmed by it when he meets you. You know you have to explain that to him at some point, I just wanted him to know in advance so he doesn't think you're a hoodlum.
If you didn't want me emailing him, which I will not do again, obviously...the truth is too much for either of you to handle...then don't give out his address to me or whomever. You know I've already shared this with Alison.
Just being honest. I AM YOUR BROTHER and was thinking (although maybe a bit too honestly) of your best interests. I even asked him if he could take you on a Safari.
Alex