I am in serious trouble...somone please help me..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kcinva, Oct 21, 2006.

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  1. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    I am very scared...I was comitted once this week...I told them I was not suicidal and I got out of there...in all honesty though...I am as close to killing myself as I have ever been..they cant help me though....going back to that hospital will surely push me over the edge...it was so sad and lonely there...I am lonely here too...even though I have my mom here...she just thinks I am talking shit when I say I am suicidal...I have ruined my entire life...I have got myself in to a place where I see no hope..I have no friends and the pastors I have arent helping much...they think there is an evil spiirit pulling on me...I cant find a job and I just have so much emptiness in me...no faith in God...nothing...I live in an area where there is no work...I am a 44 year old guy with nothing to look forward to...I am on medication but it is not working...I just have nothing to keep living for...I cant tell my therapist how bad off I am because they will stick me in that damned hospital and they will do absolutely nothing for me...I am very scared I am close to the end...someone please tell me what to do...cause I don't think I can take much more....thank you...
     
  2. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    :hug: do you think that maybe a hospital is the best place to go?
     
  3. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    All that would happen there is I would get treated like a dog and I would be even more depressed...no one can help me but me I guess...and I cannot seem to cope with this life of mine...
     
  4. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    maybe you need some help with coping, maybe see a psycologist
     
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Well, you could check into a private hospital...they treat you much better and some of them let you go places, you just have to be back at a certain time, I think with suicidal people you have to leave with a family member or friend og the family, but maybe you could find a good program.



    :hug:





    :hug:



    ~Carolyn
     
  6. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    yes, that may be a good idea
     
  7. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    yeah thanks but the hospital thing has never worked for me...I feel hopeless and helpless...
     
  8. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    From what I have heard private is way different from a state hospital hun....take a chance...you are worth it! :hug:






    :hug:





    ~Carolyn
     
  9. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    well, you are never helpless or hopeless, you have to reach out and get help though
     
  10. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    what are some things you think might theoretically help you and your situation? maybe that is a strange ? but i am talking in general or as far as working or what? feel free by all means to pm me if you want or you feel it might help you be a bit more specific.
     
  11. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    I have no insurance...my mom just got through bitching me out just now because she said she doesnt want to hear it when I say I dont want to live...and she brings up the fact that she had to help me this month pay some bills...I hate her!!!! I have half a mind just to kill myslef to hurt her...she never has cared about me..she never hugs me or anything...she has never told me she loves me....I know she worries about me but she is really odd and eccentric...geez...and she wonders why I never talk to her...
     
  12. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    I have the most fucked up family you ever seen...I am sorry for the language but that is just the way it is...when my mom is gone I will have no one...
     
  13. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    you have to live for yourself and not your mom. if she doesnt love you, then that is her problem. you need to live because your life is meant for something
     
  14. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    She always brings it up whenever she has to help me....I supported her for years and I did alot of things for her...she likes my dog better than me...she has only got me a birthday present once since I was about 17...
     
  15. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    :hug: i dont know what to say
     
  16. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    dude i can so relate to fucked up families. think i don't? how about when i tried to kill myself when i was 17 and my parents told me that was a stupid thing to do and never offered to get me any help. then on top of that they reminded me from time to time over the course of the next five years reminded me that they were paying on it then when they finished my moms words to me were "we finally finished paying for that stupid stunt"
    i can totally relate to fucked up families but they're not worth all this guy. it's not. tell me more of what you feel is fucked up....
     
  17. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    yeah I know...no one does....thanks though for trying...I appreciate it...
     
  18. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    i want to know what to say, i think that rhino has a better idea than me. how about you explain further
     
  19. kcinva

    kcinva Active Member

    Rhino that is pathetic of your parents they ought to be ashamed of themselves...my family is almost all gone except for my mom and my grandad...and he always brings up the cars he bought me when I was young...and rubs that in my face...my grandmother kind of favored me because my dad took off when I was young....and my cousins were jealous of me..but ya know....they were all brats and I was a pretty good kid looking back on it...the thing of it is...I think I am a pretty nice guy...its this world that is all screwed up...I am FAR from perfect but I try to help people when I can....seems like the evil people get by and nice guys DO finish last....
     
  20. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    well good guys may finish last, but to win you sometimes need to come in last place and all of the real "losers" need to win
     
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