I am in serious trouble...somone please help me..

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kcinva

Active Member
#21
Well and then my pastor tells me she thinks there are evil spirits after me? What the heck am I suppose to think of that?...I want to believe in God but religion scares me...and I cant buy the hell thing...just doesnt cut it..
 
#22
dude i can so relate to fucked up families. think i don't? how about when i tried to kill myself when i was 17 and my parents told me that was a stupid thing to do and never offered to get me any help. then on top of that they reminded me from time to time over the course of the next five years reminded me that they were paying on it then when they finished my moms words to me were "we finally finished paying for that stupid stunt"
i can totally relate to fucked up families but they're not worth all this guy. it's not. tell me more of what you feel is fucked up....
Get this when I was 17-18 I was in my grandmothers shed (my mother, grandmother and I were living together) I was on a suicide hotline and I was getting ready to kill myself and the EMS started taking me out to the ambulence and my mother walked out and said: "I hope you know I am going to be getting 1 hour less of sleep then normal because EMS woke me up" then she stompt back in the house and slammed the door.
 
#23
Rhino that is pathetic of your parents they ought to be ashamed of themselves...my family is almost all gone except for my mom and my grandad...and he always brings up the cars he bought me when I was young...and rubs that in my face...my grandmother kind of favored me because my dad took off when I was young....and my cousins were jealous of me..but ya know....they were all brats and I was a pretty good kid looking back on it...the thing of it is...I think I am a pretty nice guy...its this world that is all screwed up...I am FAR from perfect but I try to help people when I can....seems like the evil people get by and nice guys DO finish last....
omg i know that one so well. no one in my family has anything to do me anymore. the only family i have and believe me i don't minimize this is my kids. that's all!!! i totally believe you are a nice guy i am a nice lady and niether one of us deserve the crap that we have had to go through with our families. niether one of us!!!! agree? i can so relate to the nice guys finishing last but i think when we finish it says a whole lot more about our character and who we are and the fact that we wouldn't give up. that my friend builds respect among others. screw the familiy and what they feel. i believe they can be so blind to the truth and really that is so sad. you know what i am saying?
 
#24
i believe in god, and i think that when we are all alone and in desperation, he is there, he is watching us and that is why i havent cut in so long, because i dont want to feel like he is ashamed of me. and i dont think that if you kill yourself, you go to hell even though it says that in the bible. because if god was that cruel to send someone who has suffered all of their life to hell to suffer more, then i dont think that he would have sent his son to die for our sins....idk i am kinda really religious at times
 
#26
Well and then my pastor tells me she thinks there are evil spirits after me? What the heck am I suppose to think of that?...I want to believe in God but religion scares me...and I cant buy the hell thing...just doesnt cut it..
omg this is good and sad but this again is yet a road i have been down. don't believe in religion. religion is man made. god is god period. he loves you just the way you are and the facts are i believe right now (maybe through us) he is meeting you right where you are at. He is like that. He meets us where we are. religion should scare you all those rituals and ways of doing things is hell. Jesus is really simple we call out to Him He listens period. I know not everyone believes this, but i have believed this with all my heart for years. the only reason i am here to talk to you today is because He has looked out for me enough to see me through harms way and He cares just as much for you. personally i think it's time to look for a new pastor
 

kcinva

Active Member
#27
Carolyn that must have made you feel awful...hugs...what the hell is the matter with people? Have they no compassion?...sounds like something my mother would say...I need to get away from her but she is the only family I have...and she does care she just is kind of dingy and manipulative...and Rhino you are right....this is why we have criminals....some of us become depressed and some poeple become angry and violent...depression is anger turned inwards...when I hear stories from gals like you it makes me feel a little better in a perverted way...I guess I mean it is kind of comforting to know that other people have had terrible experiences..whatever that means...
 
#28
guy i have said all this so that hopefully you can realize that you are not alone. we all have gone through crap. there came a time when i could not count on family anymore. i'm not saying that is what you need but there was really an awesome sense of freedom when there was that break from them. it's been hard cause i am alone, but i consider what it would be if i was around them and really i find this a blessing as lonely as it is. that's probably why i really hate the holidays all this to say you are not alone with these hard feelings you are experiencing
 

kcinva

Active Member
#31
Thanks Rhino...yes the holidays are not much fun...for you...for me....and a million other people...and I know I am not alone....there are people worse off than me and I feel guilty about being sad sometimes...just seems like I never get a break...and somedays I just want to stop feeling...I use to be a heavy drinker...I have been sober for 2 years...sometimes I wish I was drunk just to go to the "drunken world"...the world where just drinking is the only thing I want to do...sort of my own little crazy drunken world....if that makes any sense....but I know that it will just make things worse...
 
#32
with everything you have been through, you have aquired strength. if you can get through what you already have, then there is no reason as to why you cant keep up that strength
 

kcinva

Active Member
#34
yeah I have great compassion for people that suffer...I know what it is like...the world just seems so enormously messed up anymore...some of you that are younger than me may not think so but it is a totally different world now than it was when I was 21 or so...people are getting crazier...
 
#36
i totally hear you about the drinking. i have been five years sober now. i am so sure nothing sounds more tempting than having that first drink. i am very proud to hear that you have gone two years that is totally totally awesome dude. don't throw that away. you are right when you say it will only make things worse. feeling down is a part of life and sometimes it feels like that all it is. that it is not meant to be. i have suffered from depression sinse i was five yrs old and suicide sinse i was just six, but i can say this that is not all my life has been. it's been a big part but there have been good parts too. what are some really cool things you have done or been a part of? i would so love to hear about them
btw i'm 36 i've lived a little
 
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kcinva

Active Member
#37
i am 14, and i know that the world is fucked up. i have known that my whole life. people may get crazier, but then again so am i. it is all perspective
FearTheClwns your just a "youngin"...it saddens me to hear people so young being so down on the world...I was 14 though once and being a teenager really sucked....I can remember quite well....I faked a stomach problem once just to get out of school for a few weeks because I was always picked on...

it says something about the world...all there is some good out there you just have to find it I guess...

I have been an antique dealer for a long time and that is what my passion in life is...I have bought things for $200.00 and sold them for 15 thousand...I am kind of a professional "treasure hunter" and I am prety good at it..thats been the highlight of my life...where I am at now I dont have the opportunity to do much antiquing but maybe someday I will be able to get out of Appalachia....this is the most depressing place you could think of...it is very pretty here but the economy is zilch...lots of drug abuse and murders....
 

kcinva

Active Member
#38
I dunno Rhino booze makes me nauseated thinking about it anymore...I made myself pretty darned sick on that crap...my aunt just died this April she was only 64...man could she drink....
 
#39
that is awesome dude that you get into antiques. i'm not totally into antiques although i do have some myself. but i sure am into old old cars. have you ever checked some of those out they are totally facinating.

how are things for you now guy? are you feeling a little better now?

the last time i drank it almost killed me quite literally that is why i stopped that and i totally believed that had i of it would have been my kids who would have found me that scared me more than the idea of dying from it
 

kcinva

Active Member
#40
I am feeling better rhino thanks to you and Carolyn and FearTheClwns...thanks guys...and yeah I have a 76 Datsun 280Z that I drive everyday...I spent all year fixing it up...
 
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