I am going through a divorce, i have lost my best friend, family, everything that I held sacred to my heart. I think about dying every day, I usually start drinking at noon, <Mod Edit - methods>. hoping I pull a Heath Ledger evey night I fall asleep. Everytime I get drunk I <Mod Edit - methods>.. yes I am that bad. This is the worst i have ever felt in my 43 years of living. I want the pain to stop... it consumes me each and every day I dont eat I only sleep when I pass out.. I pray for god to take me..