I have been on medication for several years now. I did therapy, because I failed to commit suicide a few years back and it seemed to have helped me so much. But I have been hired and fired from so many jobs since 2007, to the point I can no longer stand on my own anymore. I have lost all of my friends, probably for obvious reasons. When I get fired, people tell me one way or another it is nothing personal, that I am well liked by everyone and things like that but it never works out. I am soon to be 47 years old and I feel I have a lot to offer, but this keeps on happening and since they never tell me exactly what is wrong, I can't help but acknowledge the entire world can't be wrong so, what is wrong with me? My meds barely help anymore and I clearly can't afford treatment. I have nothing left in the bank and I just don't know how to put myself together anymore. I am loosing hope real fast. I don't sleep at night and spend hours on end looking for work. I interview well, I have no drug or alcohol problems and I know I am very presentable. My parents are old and my father is very sick, and they spend their time worried about me and what I could do to myself. My brother helps me out but things are not good and I hate to be a load on anyone. I feel so guilty for worrying them and I truly wish I wouldn't wake up every day. If I was to try to "check out" again, I know this time I will not miss and I am really terrified. What is even sadder is that if it wasn't because I love my pets so much, I probably wouldn't be here anymore. And then again, how much longer before I get kicked out and they loose their home. Things are really hard and I am just so tired. What is wrong with me????