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I am in trouble now, my kit was found

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by downunder, Feb 28, 2009.

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  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I had some items which I could use to do myself in with. I like to have them, I don;t know why, maybe just a security blanket.

    My husband found them!!!! Now I think he will tell my shrink who I see on Monday, tomorrow. Or he might forget, he tends to carried away with his job.

    Now he is talking about moving 2000km away!!! with me of course.

    The shrink knows that I tried to do myself in, twice in a month (2 weeks apart) about 2 weeks ago. So my last attempt was about 6 weeks ago.

    I told her at my last appointment 1 week ago, that I was feeling suicidal 4 days ago when I saw her "associate" for a 2nd opinion. I had had a bad day at work and her "associate" didn;'t help as she did silence games. Where as soon as I sat down she just sat and stared at me, it was horrible, then she would ask a question I would answer it and then more silence, it went on like this for an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didn't need silence games like that.

    I am surprised the shrink I usually see hasn't sectioned me off to hospital. There is no way that I could ask her to do this. I even asked her at the last appointment if she had had many people die on her.

    How obvious do I need to be!!!

    I have heard of people being sectioned for much less than this. I don;'t know what I want. Its coming up to my daughter's birthday, (she died nearly 2 years ago).

    My husband tells me off and says think about the effect I am having on him. Well I can';t help it that I want to exit this planet. I told him he shouldn''t go looking in my stuff if he doesn't want to find what he might not like.

    He is going to see his counsellor about this.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey......you are struggling with a ton of complex issues. .. i am so sorry all these burdens are on your shoulders..
    can i help?

    i can't give advice......but i felt your pain when i read your thread. and i am letting you know, ,, s.f. has saved my life. and continues to do so. . . and . .. we are here for you. i am here for you.

    pm me if you want to talk.
    there are MANY other caring, real, people here . please, reach out to them

    talk to us. how can we help?? xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  3. Troubled2008

    Troubled2008 Well-Known Member

    Hm... I am actually surprised the doc didn't ask you to go to a hospital for a couple weeks which is really, to be honest, where you should be. Just so you can get balanced out and away from the things that seem to be stressing you out. Maybe you should ask, if you don't want to go to a regular hospital, you could ask if there is a "residential treatment center" that you could go to. These are places that are usually a house.. It's sort of a "halfway" house for people with psychiatric problems.

    I think there is definitely a solution but maybe it's that you need to be the one to initiate it. Doctors aren't psychic nor are they usually very talented at all so... be sure to give them all the help they need so that they may in turn help you.

  4. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Good advice, Troubled!!
  5. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    What do you expect your husband to do? He is trying very had to help you. All out of love. When u want to 'do yourself in', did you even think of the consequences on him? The kind of traumatic stress you are going to put him through shoud you proceed with it. I have a girlfriend who is totally unpredictable with her crazy moods and I'm already sufferring like hell and having a lot of stress and I can imagine how many times more stress is your husband facing with you. If you do not value your life anymore, why not consider living it for him? Think of the extent he is going to try to 'save' you. Few thousand miles..... imagine his love for you. I feel sorry for him.
  6. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I feel sorry for my husband too, thats why i want to go at times, so he doesn't have to keep worrying about it. I want to be with my daughter.
  7. Troubled2008

    Troubled2008 Well-Known Member

    I think you need to call your doctor right now and explain yourself a little more so he or she can understand exactly what is going on. Don't sit around all day thinking about it. Just do it.
  8. Troubled2008

    Troubled2008 Well-Known Member

    That just made me think of... I take my alcoholism very seriously. I told a romantic type person of mine, don't think you'd call her a mate... But almost.. Anyhow, I told her real honestly about that I couldn't drink anymore and that I was having a lot of problems with it and she like laughed, cracked a joke about it or something and didn't take me seriously at all! That really made me lose some respect for her... But either she doesn't understand or maybe has problems herself that she won't admit to. She's like that.
  9. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    Addiction to something is a vicious daily cycle, be it obeisity, alcoholism, drugs, etc. it's a vicious daily cycle which we go through. After it happens, we regret it and tell ourselves not to do it again but each time we 'feel' like it, the emotion is over-powering and we lose control. It happens over and over again. I'm addicted to ciggarettes and I can't stop. My lungs are probably all black and I even smoke outside church, not because I want to or disrecpect the church but I'm addicted. A moment of pleasure, regrets forever as the saying goes. ADDICTION is a KILLER.
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