I had some items which I could use to do myself in with. I like to have them, I don;t know why, maybe just a security blanket. My husband found them!!!! Now I think he will tell my shrink who I see on Monday, tomorrow. Or he might forget, he tends to carried away with his job. Now he is talking about moving 2000km away!!! with me of course. The shrink knows that I tried to do myself in, twice in a month (2 weeks apart) about 2 weeks ago. So my last attempt was about 6 weeks ago. I told her at my last appointment 1 week ago, that I was feeling suicidal 4 days ago when I saw her "associate" for a 2nd opinion. I had had a bad day at work and her "associate" didn;'t help as she did silence games. Where as soon as I sat down she just sat and stared at me, it was horrible, then she would ask a question I would answer it and then more silence, it went on like this for an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didn't need silence games like that. I am surprised the shrink I usually see hasn't sectioned me off to hospital. There is no way that I could ask her to do this. I even asked her at the last appointment if she had had many people die on her. How obvious do I need to be!!! I have heard of people being sectioned for much less than this. I don;'t know what I want. Its coming up to my daughter's birthday, (she died nearly 2 years ago). My husband tells me off and says think about the effect I am having on him. Well I can';t help it that I want to exit this planet. I told him he shouldn''t go looking in my stuff if he doesn't want to find what he might not like. He is going to see his counsellor about this.