I am INSANE

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Lostfoundandlostagain

To Live... That is the adventure
#1
Ive always been told that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I am stubbornly insane. clinging to a life of mediocrity, failure, and loneliness. day after day fighting to keep hope that things will change. I try different things, different approaches to life's challenges always with the same results. I'm tired. The strange thing is I haven't thought about suicide much for months. but today I feel like I could. the means are in the next room. But then there is my family. Wife and oldest daughter who may not like me much but need my money, and the three younger ones who would be destroyed, not just destitute. Hurts to stay and hurts to go and here I am stuck in the middle trying sort out which hurts less. most days I'm sure of the answer but on days like today i find myself wondering. maybe there are those for whom life was never really meant to work. call it Life, Karma, Fate, Destiny, or Deity, one of these holds the reigns of our existence. whichever one it really is, seems rather cruel to allow life to continue on with ever diminishing hope of increase or betterment. I read a poster once that was meant to be funny that said "It could be that your purpose in life is simply to be a warning to others. perhaps they hit the nail more squarely on the head than most.
 

Freya

Loves SF
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SF Supporter
#3
You say that you are insane - do you want to tell us a little bit more about that? What do you mean by insane and how does that manifest? What makes you feel so badly that you want to die?
 
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