I am insecure about my testicle size

[Overcoming2020]

So I have been dealing with this insecurity for a while now and it kind of come and goes.

I had a hydrocele in my right testicle about 10 years ago, what that is is when there is fluid that goes into your scrotum. When I was going through puberty I noticed my ball was bigger than the other one but I never did anything about it because I was ashamed of it. A few years later I got a physical and my coach recommended me to see a doctor haha. I went there and they confirmed what it was, and I had the surgery. The surgery went good and my testicle is definitely smaller than it was but it is still larger than my left testicle. It might be about 30-40% bigger than my left testicle. I’ve been to the urologist after my surgery and they said I was fine. You can notice it when my pants are off. I have never had a girlfriend and I think it’s because of this issue, I’m scared of what they are going to think when they see me naked. I’m thinking about going to therapy for this. I don’t know if someone will really care or not but I just wanted to get others advice on this.

I appreciate your point of view of this and reading this post!

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

Well, for what it's worth, i'm more familiar with irregularities of the male genitalia than most, having experienced it from both perspectives, and so i can speak from a decent amount of experience when i say that while i would be lying if i claimed nobody would care about it at all, it's a particularly shallow and uncommon brand of person that makes a big deal out of things like this. At most, your average person might express a moment of surprise upon first seeing that region, but they'll very quickly adjust to the point it's like there's nothing unusual about it at all.

So while i can understand that feeling of shame or embarrassment, in truth pretty much nobody makes as big a deal about these things as we do with ourselves. Especially because most other people are just hoping that you won't be weirded out because they have overly hairy shins, or stubby legs, or weird elbows. (Seriously, you should hear about how many women have this exact same anxiety about their asymmetrical breast size) Everyone has some insecurity they're usually too busy worrying about themselves to really judge each other's bodily quirks.

 

[JDot]

Hey @Overcoming2020 Therapy wouldn't be a bad idea if you think it would help your anxiety. I think we tend to make a bigger deal about our own body than others do.

 

[sinking_ship]

As a woman...I pay very little attention to the appearance of a dude's testicles. Also, my breasts are definitely uneven - I think most women's are to some degree. Humans are asymmetrical creatures.

That being said, anxiety about one's body is no joke. It sounds like it's really affecting the way you live your life, so I do think therapy would be a good idea, to work on self esteem and self acceptance.

 

[Walker]

Humans are asymmetrical creatures.

This. And balls aren't the same size as it is, you know? So one is larger than the normally larger than the other. I get that. I don't think anyone is going to think this is freakish, to be honest. I can't even tell if 40% larger is something someone would clock right away unless they were eyeball to well, eyeball to ball with the things.

 

[Overcoming2020]

As a woman...I pay very little attention to the appearance of a dude's testicles. Also, my breasts are definitely uneven - I think most women's are to some degree. Humans are asymmetrical creatures.

That being said, anxiety about one's body is no joke. It sounds like it's really affecting the way you live your life, so I do think therapy would be a good idea, to work on self esteem and self acceptance.

Thank you for your advice. Yeah my brain has been overthinking this like crazy the past few days. Really one of my testicles is the size of a grape and the other a large egg. It’s making me super anxious and I’m having suicidal thoughts about this. I think I’m trying to face this after distracting myself from it for a while now.

 

[Overcoming2020]

This. And balls aren't the same size as it is, you know? So one is larger than the normally larger than the other. I get that. I don't think anyone is going to think this is freakish, to be honest. I can't even tell if 40% larger is something someone would clock right away unless they were eyeball to well, eyeball to ball with the things.

Thank you for your kind words. Yeah you can definitely notice it, I’m going to go back to the doctor in about 2 weeks and ask him if there is anything they can do about it, but I don’t think they can. I’m starting to have suicidal thoughts about this, I need to stop thinking about it.

 

[Overcoming2020]

As a woman...I pay very little attention to the appearance of a dude's testicles. Also, my breasts are definitely uneven - I think most women's are to some degree. Humans are asymmetrical creatures.

That being said, anxiety about one's body is no joke. It sounds like it's really affecting the way you live your life, so I do think therapy would be a good idea, to work on self esteem and self acceptance.

Yeah I need to go to therapy. I almost afraid I’m going to freak my therapist out telling them about this. I feel like no one I know has gone through this and so it’s hard for them to understand, and I don’t expect them too. Really one is the size of a grape and the other a large egg. It is really making me feel insecure and I have been having suicidal thoughts recently. I feel like a pit in my chest area and I never feel that.

 

[Overcoming2020]

Well, for what it's worth, i'm more familiar with irregularities of the male genitalia than most, having experienced it from both perspectives, and so i can speak from a decent amount of experience when i say that while i would be lying if i claimed nobody would care about it at all, it's a particularly shallow and uncommon brand of person that makes a big deal out of things like this. At most, your average person might express a moment of surprise upon first seeing that region, but they'll very quickly adjust to the point it's like there's nothing unusual about it at all.

So while i can understand that feeling of shame or embarrassment, in truth pretty much nobody makes as big a deal about these things as we do with ourselves. Especially because most other people are just hoping that you won't be weirded out because they have overly hairy shins, or stubby legs, or weird elbows. (Seriously, you should hear about how many women have this exact same anxiety about their asymmetrical breast size) Everyone has some insecurity they're usually too busy worrying about themselves to really judge each other's bodily quirks.

Thank you for your honesty. Yeah it’s going to take a lot of hard work for me to deal with this, i don’t even know how to bring this up to someone, you can notice the size difference for sure. I guess I have a deep fear that when someone sees my naked they will just leave me. I’m going to go to a therapist about this.

 

[MisterBGone]

And, as you may already know, one sags—or hangs) slightly lower than the other anyway: this is due to them being connected to different organs; which I believe are the lung, and kidney. . . But I could be completely recalling that wrong! Point being, they’re not going to be right there side by side anyway, and this by design, as you’d rather not have them clashing to-gether (foo forcefully!), as you walk...,

 

[Walker]

I really really want to express to you that you need to not kill yourself over this. I realize your getting a lot of shit right now in this moment but I'm telling you -- this is not going to be "suicide worthy" in a decade. I'd bet you money on this. Please get some help, talk to people, talk with your doctor, get some meds. Whatever you need to do to break past this patch of time. You're gonna be ok man. I can tell you're a smart introspective guy. You have the will to live in there, I know it.

 

[Overcoming2020]

I really really want to express to you that you need to not kill yourself over this. I realize your getting a lot of shit right now in this moment but I'm telling you -- this is not going to be "suicide worthy" in a decade. I'd bet you money on this. Please get some help, talk to people, talk with your doctor, get some meds. Whatever you need to do to break past this patch of time. You're gonna be ok man. I can tell you're a smart introspective guy. You have the will to live in there, I know it.

Thank you Walker I really appreciate your kind words. They have definitely encouraged me even a little, I’m looking for a therapist now, hopefully I can learn to let this go and live more freely.

 

[Waves]

Yeah I need to go to therapy. I almost afraid I’m going to freak my therapist out telling them about this. I feel like no one I know has gone through this and so it’s hard for them to understand, and I don’t expect them too. Really one is the size of a grape and the other a large egg. It is really making me feel insecure and I have been having suicidal thoughts recently. I feel like a pit in my chest area and I never feel that.

If that devastating how about consulting a doctor about surgery to address it?

 

[Walker]

If that devastating how about consulting a doctor about surgery to address it?

I think he's saying this is the post surgery result.

 

[Overcoming2020]

Yeah I was looking up my results from my ultrasound a year ago, the size difference is about 65/35. I’ve been googling body shame and I will learn how to love myself as I am, even if it is a little unusual. Thank you everyone for your kind words.

 

[Overcoming2020]

Yeah I need to go to therapy. I almost afraid I’m going to freak my therapist out telling them about this. I feel like no one I know has gone through this and so it’s hard for them to understand, and I don’t expect them too. Really one is the size of a grape and the other a large egg. It is really making me feel insecure and I have been having suicidal thoughts recently. I feel like a pit in my chest area and I never feel that.

Just want to give a quick update.

Yeah I went to the doctor recently and they said the bigger one really is normal sized and the other us a little smaller than the other but it’s nothing to worry about. That has helped me a lot, idk if I was exaggerating it in my mind or not. I probably was, I think one is probably the size of an egg and the other a large grape. It’s around a 65/35 ratio. I guess my body isn’t perfect but I’m going to learn to accept it for what it is. I have also started going to therapy and that is helping me too. Thanks everyone for your help with this.

 

[Overcoming2020]

Just want to give a quick update.

Yeah I went to the doctor recently and they said the bigger one really is normal sized and the other us a little smaller than the other but it’s nothing to worry about. That has helped me a lot, idk if I was exaggerating it in my mind or not. I probably was, I think one is around the size of a large egg and the other a normal to smaller sized egg. It’s around a 65/35 ratio. I guess my body isn’t perfect but I’m going to learn to accept it for what it is. I have also started going to therapy and that is helping me too. Thanks everyone for your help with this.

 

[Sane Man]

I really really want to express to you that you need to not kill yourself over this. I realize your getting a lot of shit right now in this moment but I'm telling you -- this is not going to be "suicide worthy" in a decade. I'd bet you money on this. Please get some help, talk to people, talk with your doctor, get some meds. Whatever you need to do to break past this patch of time. You're gonna be ok man. I can tell you're a smart introspective guy. You have the will to live in there, I know it.

I tend to agree with Walker on this one. Not to downplay the situation, but this particular thing will probably not bother you ten years from now. I wonder how you think women don't like you or won't date you without actually having seen that part of you yet , your lack of dating is probably for other reasons. I'm glad you talked with someone though if it's bothering you that much.

The last thing I'm going to say is whenever I see posts like this, it reminds me of how vain and superficial a society that we live in, and that makes me sick/sad. Way, way too much emphasis on looks/vanity and we are now at a ridiculous level. I 'get' it at the high school level, but in the adult world it's just sickening, given all the problems going on in the world right now, this is what they focus on. I just look at it is life is way too short(and thank god it is) to be concerned about a small testy, a misshapen ear, a wart on my face, etc. You think they were concerned about that in Vietnam, or the Holocaust? We really are completely upside down in this world with our priorities, and I don't see that improving.

 

[Overcoming2020]

I tend to agree with Walker on this one. Not to downplay the situation, but this particular thing will probably not bother you ten years from now. I wonder how you think women don't like you or won't date you without actually having seen that part of you yet , your lack of dating is probably for other reasons. I'm glad you talked with someone though if it's bothering you that much.

The last thing I'm going to say is whenever I see posts like this, it reminds me of how vain and superficial a society that we live in, and that makes me sick/sad. Way, way too much emphasis on looks/vanity and we are now at a ridiculous level. I 'get' it at the high school level, but in the adult world it's just sickening, given all the problems going on in the world right now, this is what they focus on. I just look at it is life is way too short(and thank god it is) to be concerned about a small testy, a misshapen ear, a wart on my face, etc. You think they were concerned about that in Vietnam, or the Holocaust? We really are completely upside down in this world with our priorities, and I don't see that improving.

Yeah that is really true. Reading your post kind of puts thing more in perspective, there are bigger things to worry about I guess my mind just attached to that recently because I was dating a girl and I started to overthink and worry about that. I don’t care if someone has a perfect body or not but care more about their character and qualities like that. I think I was being hard on myself.

I used to be addicted to porn and I think I went there to escape from a lot of my problems. I still do watch it but I am watching it less and less and I guess I don’t want to be in a relationship until I know I can get over watching it too.

I guess I’ll improve little by little and I want to face my problems in a healthy way and not run from them anymore. Really I guess we all get trapped in our minds and make things worse than they are.

 

[Waves]

Well it is biological. People are attracted to symmetrical faces. There is a universal perception of beauty. And it persists despite efforts to encourage people to be less superficial.