I am just not happy

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Feelsad, Apr 12, 2011.

  1. Feelsad

    Feelsad New Member

    I am not sure if I am mentally sick or just depressed.

    In other people's eyes, I am a normal person. I am healthy and I have a decent job. My husband is nice to me as well. But, I am not happy, every single day!

    - I don't like my job. I am stressed a lot from my work.

    - I don't like my co-workers. They are so cocky. They also look down on people who have accent, like me (I am not a native english speaker)

    - I don't like to socialize with other people in the office. I just sit there and do my work. I don't know how to bullshit.

    - I am not confident enough in myself. I am not pretty. My English is not good enough no matter how hard I try. I want to change my job, but I am so scared of being interviewed.

    - I want my parents to come over to visit me. But they don't want to because they don't like here.

    - I had a terrible miscarriage experience 5 years ago. I tried to get pregnant again since then but it does not work. I feel like I am not a woman any more because I can't even produce a healthy egg.

    - I feel very very insecure inside. Nothing else can make me feel secure but money. I always think I will lose my job or lose my husband some day. So, I try very hard to save every single penny. But I hate myself doing this. I almost don't buy anthying for myself. I am so cheap to myself...

    - My best friends are my dogs and my husband. They are my circles.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you got some therapy for you after your miscarriage sound like you are still very much depressed and need to resolve some of all this sadness inside hugs to you