I am killing myself in one week.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by dudeoflostdreams, Sep 18, 2008.

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  1. dudeoflostdreams

    dudeoflostdreams New Member

    Hello, my name is Alex.

    I have reached a moment in my life where I realized I will never be happy. I am almost 30, and I have never been in a relationship. Why? Every single girl I have ever met have shut me out, dumped me, hurt me, betrayed me and hated me. And each for stupid reasons. I reach out, no one reaches back. I have attempted suicide 3 times and survived, this time I won't.

    I don't want to bore you with details, but over 100 girls have rejected me and out of that, about 20 have really really hurt me. I only ever been truly in love twice, first time she disappeared on me after making promises, telling me she loved me, saying all sorts of wonderful things. Second girl, shut me out today for no good reason. Same thing, she made promises, she saved me from suicide and we talked and after awhile, I fell in love with her. And she said she loved me. And today, for no reason she shut me out, blocked all communications and stopped talking to me. She hasn't spoken to me in a week and today, she just shut me out. Why? I don't know. I have never done anything to these girls to deserve this.

    Why give someone false hope, false promises, tell him you love him and then shut him out without a single word? I am done suffering. I am simply done with it. I cried too much and I am sick to my stomach at what these females reduced me to. No girl out there looks at me and wants anything to do with me. I am done.

    I have come to experiance this, every girl out there are evil. Whether they admit it or not, I have never met a girl who was truly what she made herself appear to be. She appears to be a wonderful girl and then turns on me. I have been in a deep, dark depression for years and it's finally reached it's boiling point today. Noone wants to talk to me. NOONE. I am TIRED OF IT. I call a friend, she won't talk to me. Noone gives a damn. And this girl was my last hope and she let me down. Every girl out there wants a guy who is a total jerk, handsome and rich. And they dump me for a guy like this.

    I want an angel to save me, I have searched and waited and waited and everytime I think I found her she turns out to be a demon. I have no more tears to cry and it sickens me to even be here. I have no more places to turn, nothing else to do. I want my angel, but she's dead or she never existed. God has played his last joke on me and this curse has done me in.

    I am so serious, I am not afraid of death anymore. So why am I here?
    I want someone out there to talk to this girl and tell her that I have finally given up and this is over. I won't talk to anyone but her, I won't read anyone's email but hers. I am done.

    <Mod Edit: Please don't post links like this>

    I am so sick, I know you people will read this and see me as just another selfish punk loser who can't get a girl. You are wrong, I can get a girl, but I don't want a slut or a whore. But every girl out there happens to be one.

    I want someone to love. A companion, a friend. A beautiful girl who will be with me forever. It sounds shallow but it's a dream I never gave up.
    I am tired of meeting girls who promise to be those things and turn their backs on me after bringing me up from the ground. I hate my life, and I am taking it. I am not letting God play with it anymore, I rather be in hell. it will be alot better place then this.

    If anyone out there gives a damn, please tell this girl that she really hurt me and she is the last straw. I given my life one last chance and I just wanted to be good friends with her. If she is going to shut me out, why tell me she loves me? I have given up and the only person I will allow to help me is her. I will not love anyone else again. I am being stubborn and selfish. But I am sick of this. I have so many mixed emotions that have boiled over for years and I have bled from supressing them so hard that I may given myself an ulcer. I have actually turned to drinking and getting drunk to avoid thinking of these things.

    No more. Please, someone out there talk sense into her. I want to know the truth. I need to talk to her. I give this one week. I have nowhere else to turn to. I have no friends. And no one understands me, my feelings, where I am coming from. Enough is enough.

    Please, someone talk to her.
    <Mod Edit: Please, don't post links to her page..>

    I am not coming back here, its too much for me. I am sorry everyone but this is my last resort. I am scared to death because I am so serious about it. I don't want to deal with this anymore.

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2008
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    You have to talk to her. Are you sure that she's abandoning you forever?

    Also, have you looked into professional help?
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Well, you say every girl is a slut, a whore and evil. Then you say she has to be beautiful to be with you. Then you say you want someone to save you and that all of your hopes are riding on one single person.

    That's a lot of pressure for one girl, don't you think? To be the ONLY thing keeping you from suicide? No wonder she freaked. And on top of that, you flat-out said some pretty awful things about ALL women. Don't you think that comes across in your attitude? We're not stupid you know.

    You need to figure out a way to stop using women as your emotional crutch. No woman wants that kind of pressure all the time. I'm sure you mean well, but you need to try to shift your attitude and bring something to the table. You say you're such a great guy, so act like it. Be there for THEM and forget your shallow interpretations of what a woman should be and accept them for what they are. Then you will have a very good chance.
  4. ZundertowZ

    ZundertowZ Well-Known Member

    i feel yr pain i really do! but im not sure having complete strangers email this girl is the way 2 go! i have experienced the same feelings towards girls and its hard 2 get past i know, but instead of wishing 4 a angel to save you u need to save yourself! its a whole lotta pressure to put your life in the hands of this girll which is why she bailed! people in general suck but there are great people here! so why shut people who are willing 2 help u out but at the same time asking them 2 email this girl? ive been in a similiar spot and could prob help pm me
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Alex. Sorry to hear that you're feeling so low at the moment. I know you're angry, but reffering to every girl as evil, sluts and whores is not going to win you any sympathy here. You want an angel to save you, but you really have to save yourself first, then your angel will come. You also have to change the way that you view women in general. After being hurt by nearly 100 women, it might seem like all women are like this, but it is not true. There are many really nice women out there, and many on this forum too. Also, the links you posted to her webpage were deleted by an administrator, because that would violate her privacy.
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