Last night as I was cutting myself, after I saw this one cut on my forearm, something took a hold of me that I can't explain. After seeing the fresh wound the began picking at it with <mod edit: bunny - methods> trying to make it either deeper and/or more widespread, I can't recall the exact reason. After doing this I then tried to make the wound more painful by <mod edit: bunny - methods> that would inhance the pain. What concerns me other then the obvious, is that I don't know why I did this. I thought I knew the reasons I cut myself but this incident now has me questioning thoese reasons, so now I am complelty at a lost, not only cutting myself far more frequently but continuing the pattern of trying to make the wounds worse after the fact, without any reason as to why I'm doing this.