My story is a complicated one. I never had a good life growing up. Rape, my parents did drugs, homeless. i was always depressed. The last few years i have been happy well until January this year. my dad died and now i am left with all this guilt and flashbacks and depression. I should be happy he died. I am not though. I have been drinking way too much and my depression is going to rip my family apart. I don't know what to do.