I Am New to This Forum

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Mr. Goldstein, May 12, 2011.

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  1. Mr. Goldstein

    Mr. Goldstein Well-Known Member


    I just signed up today, and I am chronically depressed, have severe anxiety, and I am mentally disabled in many ways: attention deficit disorder, learning disabilities, obsessive compulsive disorder, and a low IQ. For these reasons, I want to die. The only thing is that I don't have the courage to take my own life, so I wait and hope for natural death, or that someone else would do it in a painless manner, or that any possible gods or ETs would do it as an act of compassion.

    Physicians have tried all prescriptions on me, but none work. Methylphenidate has helped a little with the ADD though, but it's still hard to remain employed: I'm currently unemployed.

    I make my time go by engaging in fantasy: I really like watching science fiction: stuff that takes me away from the reality of the current world.

    Have a nice day!
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...it sounds like you have overcome so much...I wonder if you have taken the time to really let that in? I am glad you decided to post...know that there are many ppl here who truly relate to what you have posted...welcome again, J
  3. Mr. Goldstein

    Mr. Goldstein Well-Known Member

    In some ways I've overcome, in other ways I've regressed. In the past, I still had hope. Now, I am completely just waiting to die and wish for it. Plus, whatever I have overcome, I no longer have the funds to pay for it: being unemployed and not having insurance, I can no longer pay for methylphenidate, so finding a job is impossible. I am staying with family, but they are not rich, so I can't allow myself to be a constant financial burden.

    Being single with no kids (I am responsible in that I will not allow myself to have kids since I can't even take care of myself), I don't quality for any welfare services. So, I will eventually move to a public subway station, or shelter if any are available. But, my State is broke and there are hundreds of tent cities everywhere, though out of complete apathy, city officials keep on breaking them up, in hope that the homeless will suffer and die off by not having any place to live. Homeless are thrown off of private property, then thrown off of public property: so it appears that the public are hoping that the homeless will simply cease to exist by jumping off a bridge or something: what else are they expecting if we can't stay on either public or private property?

    But that's fine, if the public wants me to die, they need to provide free euthanization services. If not, they need to stop breaking up tent-cities.

    Thanks for listening. I'm sure I'm just one of millions who complain, and others listen out of kindness.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Have you contacted the pharm company that makes the drug? Sometimes, they have programs for ppl without health insurance...that might be worth a call...J
  5. Mr. Goldstein

    Mr. Goldstein Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a good idea. My prescription is a Schedule II drug, a highly controlled substance. Most pharmacies don't even carry it, or are always out of stock. I always use generic. I'll contact the pharmaceutical company right away. Thanks for the great tip.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome!

    I know you mentioned that you don't qualify for welfare, but have you ever tried getting financial help through applying for disability income? I don't know where you live, so I'm not sure if that would work or not. But if you were able to get on Disability, it might be possible that your meds would be covered that way.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi welcome to SF
  8. Mr. Goldstein

    Mr. Goldstein Well-Known Member

    I live in California. Plus, I am not sure how much disability I would quality for: most of my life has been in a state of unemployment or part-time work. I have to say, my family members have been very generous in letting me live with them and pay what I can to cover my cost. Without their generosity, I would have been homeless a long time ago.
  9. Mr. Goldstein

    Mr. Goldstein Well-Known Member

    Much appreciated!
  10. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Hi :) I just want to say welcome to the forum and i hope you find some friends here ! there are bound to be people in similar situations and i hope they will be able to give you some good advice. Anytime you need to talk my pm box is always open. xx
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums.. You shoukd go down to social security and apply for benefits..They will most likely turn you down at first..Then you get a lawyer that specialises in SSI..They will take it from there..It would help if you got a letter from your GP Stateing what your problems are..The lawyer won't charge you anything until you get your benefits..They will have to pay you all the way back to day 1 when you applied...I hope this helps..
  12. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    Hi - welcome to the forums :)

    Some of my most trusted friends have given you some good tips here, I haven't been in a similar situation myself, but I know these good people here, and all of these suggestions, are worth a shot.

    Here I know you will always find a friend to listen, you'll find support, and most importantly, a safe place. We all had our reasons for finding this forum, so we really do understand how you feel, even if our circumstances differ.

    Keep posting your thoughts, keep talking, please keep let us know what happens with the drug company, and also, if you do some research into receiving disability. We really care about you, and want you to find a solution - one that allows you to stay here with us.....

    Wish you the best..
  13. Mr. Goldstein

    Mr. Goldstein Well-Known Member

    I am grateful for your emotional attachment to me. You are a very kind person. I should mention though that my desire for a painless death is not the result of a lack of emotional attachments between myself and other humans, but rather due to chronic depression and anxiety caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors that is beyond my power to change. First, clinical anxiety and depression runs in my family, indicating a genetic factor. This is then exacerbated by my environment: one of financial instability caused by my cognitive deficiencies such as a severe case of attention deficit disorder, learning disabilities, atrophied brain, and a low IQ.
  14. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    just want to say Welcome :)
  15. Mr. Goldstein

    Mr. Goldstein Well-Known Member

    Thank you for welcoming me. Do you know anyone from the CIA? If you do, can you tell them that I am willing to donate my living body to them.

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