...but I would like to. Tomorrow we will celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary. She is still getting child support money from me. The divorce has not been cancelled yet. Prolly in November. And right now, at the very instant, I am craving alcohol worse than I have in months. Add to that I am a pathetic failure. Now my job is in jeopardy too. WTF? I have no confidence, I have no redeemable social skills. All I do is play drums at church, that's it. That's the extent of my social involvement. I even start smoking cig's again, behind my wife's back. And this job thing, well if I can't turn around my f up's quick I may be fired by year's end. And back on the homefront, well the wife still refers to things as their stuff and mine, and not OURS. Somedays I think it would have been better had I gone thru with what I had intended to go thru with last fall. Hell...it's a been a year and I still want to die. that should tell you all you need to know about this looser.