I am not going to make it.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by messedupguy, Sep 27, 2007.

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  1. messedupguy

    messedupguy New Member

    I just lost my job. I am afraid that I suffered brain damage during a suicide attempt by insulin overdose. My mind and memory are not the same. This is what I wrote to the woman that led me into destroying my life. Over $100,000 in destruction:

    I am not in very good shape today. I am really depressed and bored out of my skull.

    I was hoping to hear from you today. Your voice would have brightened my mood.

    I guess I will shake it off and be better tomorrow.

    Nothing happening on the job front. If I can't do technical stuff I don't know what I am going to do. I think I will go down to the Ft. Lewis Veterans Job Service Center and take some job aptitude and interests tests. Maybe they can point me in a new direction.

    I would love to help people. I saw a job advertised long ago that I thought about applying for. It was for a Veterans Outreach kinda position, you know, helping veterans get all the support the are entitled to? It was in Montana, a place I was considering living in around 2000. Beautiful place, nice people, pretty cheap.

    Goddess, I am so very lost right now. I don't know if you will even read this, much less understand it. We really know so little about each other. You are much stronger than me, I think I have more life experience. Maybe not, you have met a lot of people;e and used their needs.

    Have you considered what your actions have done? To weak people like me? I am broken. I was broken before you owned me. <inappropriate...Terry>

    I am broken. And I can't live with it. I don't think I will make it out of this. I have no life, no reason to be. I can't even cling to a job now, for strength. I am useless.

    I am going to exist for a few days more, get my retirement pay, <inappropriate..Terry>, then I will end it. Regardless of what happens I will be gone.

    I don't want to go on.

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2007
  2. messedupguy

    messedupguy New Member

    Terry, yiou keep saying inappropiate. Sorry, I am drunk and ca't type. What is inappropriate? All I do is consume resources better used by others.
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